The Women of 224 Kiefaber
By: Katie Christoff – Former A&E Editor
FN: How did you meet?
CC Hutten: Grace and I didn’t like each other at first, but then we found out we were both Ravenclaws.
Laney Gibson: I met Grace when she asked me for a book freshmen year and I didn’t know her name for like three weeks.
Grace Wolford: We hung out regularly during those three weeks.
Megan Wynne: CC thought I was crazy at first. Which I am.
FN: Do you have any house traditions?
CH: “Parks and Rec.”
LG: We watch movies a lot to procrastinate.
MW: Different people have different traditions.
CH: Chick-fil-A is the house tradition. And eating the pizza that Grace ordered. Just food, really.
GW: Our house tradition is awkwardly not having a house tradition.
CH: Trying to be passive aggressive and failing at the passive part.
LG: The miracle of our house is that we never fight over the bathroom, with six girls.
FN: Give everyone in the house a superlative.
CH: Lane is Most Likely to Overanalyze an Emoji.
Becca Maj: CC is Most Likely to Not be Seen for Four Days. Grace is Most Likely to Order Pizza.
CH: Megan is Most Likely to Sleep Through this Porch Profile Interview.
Sarah Pennington: Meg’s Most Likely to be Nocturnal.
CH: Laney’s Most Likely to Make us Watch a French Psycho-sexual Thriller that’s Really Hard to Comprehend.
BM: Sarah is Most Likely to Drunk Eat Vegetables.
MW: Becca’s Mostly Likely to Pay Someone’s Cover so They’ll go to Tim’s with Her.
CH: We’re all Most Likely to Cry at a Party. Laney’s Most Likely to Twerk at a Party.
MW: Lane is Most Likely to Change the Music at a Party and Make Everyone Mad.
SP: Becca’s Most Likely to be on the Porch.
GW: She’s Most Likely to Celebrate Every Season like its Way Nicer Than it is.
BM: CC’s Most Likely to be Friends with Celebrities in the Future.
SP: CC is Most Likely to Know Everyone.
GW: Megan’s Most Likely to Meet Meryl Streep and Not Know Who She Is.
FN: What’s your house song?
All: “Hunter” by Pharrell.
SP: The only song all of us have consistently liked at the same time.
MW: I don’t think I’ve heard it, but if Lane and I can twerk to it, I’m sure it’s fine.
GW: We don’t like each other’s music, so it depends who gets to the auxiliary cord first.
FN: If you came back for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
MW: CC will be writing famous books and I’ll pretend I read them, but I won’t actually read them. I’ll read the cover though.
CH: Grace will have bet on a horse at Derby and never have to work again.
BM: Sarah will own a really hip restaurant near Dayton.
CH: Becca will have designed the drones that will have become a household object.
MW: Lane’s going to be living off the grid and not even know our reunion is happening.
CH: Lane will have discovered the true meaning of “chill girl” and disappeared completely. Megan will have gone to Europe and had four kids. And she will still be at a Bassnectar concert.
FN: What’s your favorite finals week study spot?
MW: Is this going to be published before or after finals week? Because I don’t want mine taken.
LG: Crying in the shower.
MW: Marianist conference room, and I’ll lock everybody out.
LG: There’s a good place to study?
BM: Anywhere with free food.
FN: What’s left on your UD bucket list?
LG: One weekend free of embarrassment.
MW: Cheesily, I want to run through the fountain.
SP: Going to a formal.
BM: Get a burger at Pine Club.
GW: Be inside the Pine Club.
SP: I’ve never actually ordered Cousin Vinny’s. I’ve always had it ordered for me.
CH: Spend one Sunday not in the Flyer News office.
FN: What’s your favorite memory at UD?
CH: “Parks and Rec” party.
MW: We had a “Parks and Rec” party?
BM: St. Patrick’s Day breakfast! We had a sleepover.
CH: Living in Gardens and then on Jasper and never leaving.
GW: The squirrels that fell from the ceiling at Jasper.
BM: The bats at Jasper.
CH: Grace falling out of a two-story window and onto a car. When Becca accidentally locked herself in the apartment.
MW: Bagel Cafe.
FN: What advice would you give underclassmen?
LG: Stop being embarrassing.
MW: Stop while you’re ahead.
SP: Anything can be a free sample in the dining halls.
MW: Go to Tim’s more often.
BM: But don’t pay for it.
MW: Become really good friends with bartenders.
CH: Take care of yourself.
MW: Eat regularly.
CH: Eat everything.
MW: Best advice my mom gave me was to say yes to everything legal and illegal as long as you don’t need me to bail you out.
GW: Never miss class, but also never miss any social opportunity at all.
CH: Develop a strong sense of FOMO, because you’ll miss out on everything.
MW: Don’t be a bro.
GW: But be chill.
CH: Don’t be afraid to offend people, because it’s really easy at UD…specifically as the editor of a newspaper.
SP: Make friends that will order you pizza.
BM: Watch “Parks and Recreation.”
SP: Add pulled pork to the mac and cheese wrap at DD’s.
GW: Don’t watch “The Big Bang Theory.”
CH: Join Flyer News. And be really easily influenced by advice you read in porch profiles.
If you want this to be your porch next year, contact Art and Entertainment Editor Mary Kate Dorr at firstname.lastname@example.org before there’s a waiting list.