Your guide to popular summer music festivals

By: AMANDA DEE – Social Media Manager

Beer breath tickling the hairs on the back of your neck. Sweaty arms rubbing against yours. It’s here – well, almost.
And I’ll be your guide. I’ll hold your clammy hand, wherever you are after finals, as you work off the cost of tickets for this year’s summer music festivals.

Governor’s Ball
Date: June 6-8
Location: Randall’s Island
Headliners: Outkast, Jack White, Vampire Weekend, The Strokes
Tickets: one-day pass = $100. three-day pass = $230.
Attire: W.W.E.K.W. (What would Ezra Koenig wear?)

A family campout with 80,000 strangers and Kanye West (plus more than 150 other musicians/bands).
Date: June 12-15
Location: 617 Woodbury Highway
Headliners: Elton John, Kanye West, Jack White, Lionel Richie, Vampire Weekend
Tickets: four-day pass = $284.50.
Attire: As long as you forage the flowers yourself, flower crowns are appropriate. Black trash bags also are appropriate to protect you from weather and second-hand drug smoke while still slimming you. Bring bug spray to use as cologne or perfume.

A smaller campout.
Date: June 19-22
Location: The Woodlands
Headliners: Foo Fighters, Outkast, Jack Johnson
Tickets: four-day pass = $299. Single-day passes sold out.
Attire: Girls, start buying flower crowns and cutting your tees into crop-tops. Boys, start foraging for floral tees and cutting your jeans into cut-offs.

Vegetarians and vegans: Pitchfork will accept you, unlike your family and friends. In contrast to Lollapalooza, you are closer to the stage – you are closer to Kendrick Lamar. The stages themselves are closer to each other too, so your group can disband and reunite without getting lost or kidnapped. Alt moms with alt babies welcome!
Date: July 18-20
Location: Union Park
Headliners: Beck, Neutral Milk Hotel, Kendrick Lamar
Tickets: one-day pass = $60. three-day pass = $130.
Attire: Flower crowns make appearances, but remember that what you wear will be compared to vogue innovations. Don’t try too hard. They know when you do. Whether you’re male, female or undecided, when in doubt, wear a bucket hat.
This year’s line-up is … weird, but, if you’re selective, it might be okay (it might not)! Make sure your group has the same music taste as you or you’ll have to split up. Each stage typically hosts musicians and bands of a similar genre. No guarantee that you’ll find each other again.
Date: Aug. 1-3
Location: Grant Park
Headliners: Eminem, Outkast, Kings of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, Skrillex, Lorde
Tickets: Sold out
Attire: Flower crowns. Crop-tops. Tanks. Jorts.

Outside Lands
Date: Aug. 8-10
Location: Golden Gate Park
Headliners: Kanye West, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, The Killers …
Tickets: sold out except for VIPs (three-day VIP = $395. Friday or Sunday VIP = $249.50)
Attire: Khaki shorts with sweater vests, spaghetti straps, wife-beaters … (everything I know about California I learned from “The O.C.”).
Are you sobbing and eating your own hair because the tickets to the festival of your dreams are sold out? Stop. (Please?) Visit sites like or use social media to start haggling. If you can’t snag tickets or just can’t go to your fantasy festival, remember, there will always be live feeds.

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