Porch Profile: The Women of 431 Lowes
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: How did you meet?
Sarah Shuba: Tab and I have been roommates since freshman year.
Maureen Dmytryk: Josie and I lived on the same floor in Stuart.
Josie Little: High-five Meyer. With high-five Fridays.
SS: Tabitha and I met Maureen sophomore year in a biology class for education majors. Education is mine, Tabitha’s and Maureen’s major actually. And then Maureen introduced us to Josie last year.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
SS: Tabitha is Most Likely to Know all the Tim’s Bouncers.
JL: Most Likely to be Roaming around Tim’s. She should come with a sign: If Lost, Look in Tim’s.
MD: Any time of the night.
JL: Maureen’s is Most Likely to Fall Asleep in the Middle of a Movie.
MD: Josie is Most Likely to Lose all of her Belongings in One Night. Sarah is Most Likely to Know Anyone in a Movie and all of the Movies They’ve Ever Been In.
SS: They call me their personal IMDb.
JL: Just today she was telling me how Brad Paisley met his wife. It’s a good story, actually.
SS: He saw her in “Father of the Bride,” and was like, “I’d like to marry her.”
FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?
Tabitha Schumer: Mine is probably when I tried to steal a cone. I was running with it and threw it after a cop saw me, and he was like “You need to go put that back.” It was the scariest moment of my life.
SS: I fell at Tim’s in front of everyone.
MD: Same. Everyone just looked at me for a while until a friend helped me up.
SS: I had an open Corona once, walking on the sidewalk, and a cop started talking over the loudspeaker to me, saying, “Ma’am, I need you to turn around and stop.” She then proceeded to ask me to pour it out. In front of an entire house of people.
FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
JL: Tab is going to be here teaching at UD in 10 years. Married to the owner of Tim’s.
TS: Most likely. Or, I would own Tim’s
MD: Tab and I will just be teaching.
JL: No, Mo you’ll be on a beach.
SS: Sipping Coronas.
TS: And you’re going to be the head swim coach at whatever school you’re at. Dating the hot lifeguard.
JL: In 10 years, we will be reuniting on the Tim’s dance floor. And we want to take our house number now and be like “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” but with the house number.
TS: Sarah will most likely be married with children.
JL: To someone from Tennessee. A country man. A rural man.
MD: Josie will be backpacking across the world.
SS: And she’ll have her own physical therapy practice.
JL: Nah, I don’t like being the boss of anyone. I’ll probably be at a hospital with those senior citizens. I like them a little senile, you know, get ‘em while it’s hot.
FN: Do you have any house traditions?
TS: Oh! We go to Kroger on Sample Saturdays. Hashtag Cheeseman.
JL: Oh, the Cheeseman. He offered us chocolate once … and I actually ate it.
TS: We also try to eat dinner with each other a few times a week
SS: Or at least sit together when we eat.
JL: We do Movie Monday with our neighbors.
SS: We watched “Insidious” the first time.
JL: The neighbors called us after the movie with the “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” song playing when we answered.
FN: What advice would you give underclassmen?
MD: Enjoy it. It goes by fast.
TS: Don’t be afraid to branch out from the people you met freshman year. Because you meet better people.
SS: Dave will be your best friend at Milano’s.
MD: Blue walls are better than red walls. But still not good.
TS: Speaking of, don’t wear nice shoes to Tim’s.
SS: Go special interest for a nice house senior year.
JL: If you’re an RA, don’t write people up. They like you better that way.
SS: Invest in snow boots.
TS: Don’t worry too much about money.
TS: Talk to your neighbors.
JL: Create good relationships with your professors. No other school has staff like UD.
MD: Get involved, you meet a lot of people.
JL: Take a guitar class, it’s fun!
FN: If your house came with a warning label, what would it be?
JL: Warning: If you come here after 10:30 p.m., everyone is in bed … They’re all teachers.
SS: Our house, our rules.
JL: Warning: No one here can dance.
SS: Well I don’t know about you …
MD: No, it’s the more alcohol, the worse the dancing.
JL: Warning: The kitchen might catch on fire, because of the ridiculous amount of alcohol in there.
FN: If you were all Disney characters, who would you be?
JL: Tab, you’re Lilo.
MD: She likes all of us to be together, so she’d always yell “Ohana!”
TS: Josie is Belle!
JL: Who is she?
SS: The smart one! With a brain!
JL: But I’m not that smart …
TS: Sarah could be the girl from “Brave.”
MD: Yeah, she is so independent and cool.
JL: Or, the fairy godmother from “Cinderella.”
TS: Josie would be the brother from “Hannah Montana,” what’s his name?
MD and SS: Jackson!
TS: Maureen, you would be Miranda from “Lizzie McGuire.”
TS: Maureen would be Piglet. She’s so cuddly, and she’s a worrywart.
JL: But she’s not timid. She is half Piglet, half Mulan. Because she can fight for herself.
FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?
JL: The cadaver lab.
SS: Mine is the quad in front of Marycrest with that rock wall thing. It’s a good place to just sit and ponder life.
JL: Wait I want to change mine. The dining hall of Marycrest. I like just sitting there and watching people.
MD: The Rec. I worked there since freshman year, and I met a lot of friends there, but now working out is just a stress relief for me.
TS: Mine would be the fifth floor of the library by a window. I love the distraction.
JL: My very favorite is this house.
MD: Altogether, we like our front porch. It’s our favorite spot to be together.
JL: Yeah, we need to be millionaires, so we can come back and buy this house, guys.