Porch Profile: The Women of 416 Stonemill
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: How did the ladies of 416 Stonemill meet?
Katelyn Rendulic: Well, I remember I did a service project with Katie, Kayla and Meredith, and we were all wearing hairnets for some reason.
Danielle Pohlman: We all lived on the 7th floor of Marycrest freshman year.
Meredith Pacenta: It’s actually unique how we all came together. Regardless of where we all lived, it was like we were meant to be roommates senior year. Katie and I are from the same hometown, and Katie was Kayla’s roommate, etc. We all had a different connection with each other somehow.
DP: And Kayla and I roomed together sophomore year.
Katie Penny: Katelyn and I actually suggested that Kayla and Danielle live together.
Kayla Mueller: So we went on basically a blind date, and it was just meant to be.
FN: If everyone in the house was a Disney movie character, who would they be?
DP: I want to be Belle because I like to read!
ALL: No way! Danielle, you’re Sleeping Beauty.
KM: Katie would be Belle because her boyfriend has a lot of facial hair.
DP: And Mere should be Rafiki! Because she’s so insightful, you know?
MP: Why do you guys all get to be princesses?
DP: Kayla should be Olaf… “Do you want to build a snowman?”
KM: I don’t want to be a boy!
DP: Fine, Ana!
KM: Because no one wants to hang out with me, is that what you’re saying? I’ll take it, only if Danielle is Boo, then.
KP: Katelyn should be Ariel because…
KR: I’m a mermaid at heart.
FN: If your house came with a warning label, what would it be?
KP: WARNING: Towel party going on.
KM: WARNING: Must dance on elevated surfaces.
KR: Quinoa or bust.
MP: Beyoncé lives here.
DP: You are blessed.
KP (looking through the window): Wait, there’s a guy in our house right now…
KR: Oh, that’s the maintenance guy! He’s here to fix our refrigerator.
All: Yeah, we shouldn’t have put so much pesto on the top shelf…
FN: If you guys were to be visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
MP: Oh, Lord.
KM: Katie will be on a farm, with her hubby, raising kids, starting her own dog shelter, and CEO of her own nonprofit where she’s saving lives.
MP: And Katelyn is settling in her Dayton home after living in Denver…
KM: In her kayak…
DM: Doing yoga. And smiling.
KR: Well, Meredith will be living in Washington, D.C. with her fluffy little yappy dogs named Pinot and Grigio.
KM: And modeling on the side.
KP: Kayla will be Amish. Or living in downtown Chicago with a dog.
MP: And Leo, the cat, will still be by Danielle’s side.
All: Ultimately, we want to be happy.
FN: Do you have any house traditions?
MP: Our porch lights are always on after dark. And conversations are on the porch after dark.
KR: Cooking is a must. And we have two other roommates, a gnome and a tiny wax woman (we sometimes find them kissing at night, shh).
ALL: (Seeing a fellow senior walk by): And we all love Jack Raisch!
FN: If you could invent something for UD, what would it be?
KP: A lake.
DP: An on-campus football stadium.
MP: A fire pit by KU, and a coffee shop in Humanities or St. Joe’s.
KR: A patio, like the one at KU, but more accessible. And bistro-like lights.
DP: A better dance bar.
KM: Yeah, someplace to go after Tim’s.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
KP: Katelyn would have the best laugh.
KM: And best smile.
MP: Kayla has the best jokes.
KR: And Katie is the most efficient.
KM: Yeah, she’s the fastest at walking, getting ready…basically, everything. It’s her major.
KP: Guys, OPS is my major!
KR: Meredith has the best hair.
DP: And she’s the most insightful.
KM: And has the best snapchats.
MP: Danielle has the best eyes and gives the best advice.
FN: What’s your No. 1 house rule?
KM: Hashtag go with the flow.
KR: Be sincere.
MP: And be courteous. Also, love.
FN: If 416 Stonemill was a celebrity, who would it be?
KR: Probably the offspring of Justin Timberlake and Beyoncé. But I don’t know…
KP: And cousins with Mumford and Sons.
KM: Oh, and a childhood fan of Aaron Carter. And a teenage fan. And an adult fan…
FN: As seniors, what advice do you want to give the underclassmen?
All: Be where your feet are.
FN: If 416 Stonemill’s walls could speak, what would be its go-to party story about its residents?
KR: “The Jimmy John’s driver came into the bathroom once.”
KP: He used the upstairs bathroom…
MP: “They sit on the fridge.”
DP: “They play a game with pizza boxes, coins and the occasional chanting of ‘Jumanji.’ Strange…”
FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?
ALL: This porch right here.
FN: Last, but certainly not least: What is the perfect method for eating an Oreo cookie?
KM: I’d have to say peanut butter, because of “The Parent Trap,” of course.
DP: Dunk it in the milk and eat it off the spoon.
MP: I just eat it. I don’t think about it.
KM: Whatever keeps the kids safe, right, Mere?
KR: I eat it as the sun sets…
KM: In a kayak…
KR: In three bites.
KP: My way is very strategic. First, you dip it in halfway. Next, you eat the soggy part. Then, you break it apart, lick off the cream, and eat the cookies.
KM: Such an OPS major.
If you and your roommates are interested in featuring your house as a Porch Profile, contact A&E Editor Katie Christoff at firstname.lastname@example.org and include your address, the names of everyone living there and one good reason why your house should be featured. There are no restrictions regarding where you live on campus, but you must be a junior or senior to apply.