Porch Profile: The Women of 20 Woodland


By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer

FN: So how did you ladies meet?

Mary Kate Carroll: Olivia, Anna, Carolyn and myself all lived on the same floor in Marycrest.

Claire Quinn: And Lizzy and I lived on the same floor in Founders.

Olivia Hirt: Before school started, Maggie and I met on a retreat.

Lizzy Riddle: For me, during the first weekend of freshman year, Mary Kate and I met in the student neighborhood, and she said, “Are you a freshman?” And I said, “Yes.” And she said, “I’m a freshman too.” And at the end of the night she told me—

MC: “Text me tomorrow and remind me that I love you.”

LR: So the next day, I texted her saying, “I’m Lizzy Riddle, and we are friends.”

MC: Oh, the story of me meeting Claire is embarrassing. When I first met her, I said –

CQ: “Hey are you Claire Quinn? I stalked you on Facebook.”

MC: In my defense, I knew someone from home who knew her and told me to room with her.


FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?

OH: The second week of freshman year, Anna sharted her pants, and she texted me from the bathroom to bring her a fresh pair of underwear. I barely even knew her.

MC: Well, mine was probably when I woke up to the police banging on my bedroom door. Not our house door. Bedroom door.

OH: Apparently, our back door was open the whole night.

Maggie Quinn: Which was awesome to find out, since I was sleeping on the couch that night.

LR: Tell her why you were sleeping there.

MQ: I don’t want to.

Anna Combs: Maggie wet the bed.

CQ: Carol and Maggie stole traffic cones.

Carolyn Wahlen: It’s true. We almost got arrested. We got yelled at, and they told us to go home right then, so I turned to Maggie and go, “Bye Maggie,” and she went, “Bye Carol,” and then we ran off in opposite directions.

LR: I think my shining moment was when the police came to return my phone and credit card and I was wearing a party police sweatshirt. Sobbing at the door.

MC: As you can tell, we and the UD police go way back.

CW: Claire Quinn’s is when she bonged six beers at a day drink.

CQ: That wasn’t embarrassing, it was impressive.


FN: What’s on your UD bucket list?

CW: See “Lemme Smang It” by Yung Humma, ft. Flynt Flossy, in concert.

CQ: A Tim’s VIP card.

MC: Have a bar crawl from Applebee’s to Chili’s to TGI Fridays and end at Tim’s.

LR: I want UD to win the NCAA so we can riot again. Long live March Madness 2K14.

CW: Host a day drink.

LR: Yes. A Saturday afternoon, Amish-themed, day drink. I’ve already bought my denim dress.

MQ: Butt tattoos.

AC: Matching butt tattoos.

OH: Matching Space Jam butt tattoos.

MQ: It’s so tasteful.

OH: We tried once, but [the tattoo parlor] was closed.

LR: Not me. I am very against it.

AC: But it’s Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny!

LR: That’s ink on your skin forever!

AC: It’s just a butt!

LR: Think about how beautiful and wonderful that butt was when it came out of your mother’s womb!

AC: But everyone will know I was cool when I’m a grandma.

MC: Who will you be mooning as a grandma? I’m with Lizzy on this one. I think it is on her and my bucket lists to simply be spectators while they get these tattoos.


FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.

MQ: Mary Kate is Most Likely to Lay in Everyone’s Bed.

AC: Lizzy is Most Likely to Plan Everyone’s Weddings.

CW: Or Break Out in Song. Most Likely to Never Eat Spam: Claire. Most Likely to Force Her to Eat Spam: me.

AC: Most Likely to Lose all of her Belongings: Maggie Quinn.

MC: Olivia is Most Likely to Sleep All Day if You Let Her.

MQ: She has time management skills like none other, in her defense.

MC: Claire is Most Likely to be Seen Eating Hummus.

MQ: Anna is Most Likely to Make us Pancakes.

AC: Carolyn is Most Likely to Severely Piss Someone Off by Trying to be Nice and Funny.

LR: Or Most Likely to be at the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time.

CW: It’s true. Every single wrong place. At every single wrong time.


FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

OH: Bargo’s Crazy Hour.

LR: We probably won’t have left.

AC: Liv is going to be a doctor and a mother of 10.

MQ: She will have delivered Liv’s eight children by then.

LR: Maggie will still not know where her phone is.

CW: Claire will be a huge meat addict.

LR: Working at the No. 1 meat packing company.

CW: Anna will be married with the cutest family ever.

CQ: Teaching somewhere.

AC: I bet MK will still be dartying every Saturday.

CQ: Lizzy will be a very successful businesswoman.

CW: And I will not.

AC: Carol would be in Guatemala or Peru.

CQ: Yeah, doing some nonprofit work.

MC: With a hot Latino-lover-husband.

CW: Mag will be a softball coach at the local high school.

MQ: I’ve been told I have softball hands.


FN: What Disney character does each roommate most closely resemble?

CW: I say Anna is Belle.

AC: Liv is Sleeping Beauty.

OH: Do I really sleep that much?

AC: Yes! You slept for 13 hours yesterday!

MQ: She is awake for six hours less than me, but she is more productive in that span than I am all day.

LR: Maggie is Dory from “Finding Nemo,” and I’ll tell you why.

MQ: Everyone is a princess but me!

LR: Because Dory has the kindest intentions, but always forgets her stuff.

MC: Lizzy would be the girl from “Enchanted.”

LR: Giselle.

AC: I see Claire as Snow White.

LR: Yeah, because of the cleaning thing.

CW: And also all the boys.

OH: Carolyn, you are Mulan.

CW: Okay, but only because of Li Shang.

MQ: Mary Kate is Jasmine mixed with…

LR: The naked mole rat.

MQ: (singing) What is that? That freaky thing?


FN: Describe each other in one word.

CW: Liv is wise.

OH: Guys, it’s like I’m an 80-year-old man! I sleep all day, and I’m wise!

MQ: Anna is playful.

CW: Claire is kind through and through.


MQ: Goof.

MQ: Elizabeth…

MKC: Spunky.

LR: Joyful for Maggie. Wait, scratch that. Batsh-t crazy.

CQ: Carolyn is compassionate.


FN: If you knew you could stay at a certain age forever, what would it be, and why?

LR: Twenty-one. If I could just live in this house forever with these people and share this joy forever, I think that would be a pretty good life.

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