Porch Profile: The Women of 20 Woodland
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: So how did you ladies meet?
Mary Kate Carroll: Olivia, Anna, Carolyn and myself all lived on the same floor in Marycrest.
Claire Quinn: And Lizzy and I lived on the same floor in Founders.
Olivia Hirt: Before school started, Maggie and I met on a retreat.
Lizzy Riddle: For me, during the first weekend of freshman year, Mary Kate and I met in the student neighborhood, and she said, “Are you a freshman?” And I said, “Yes.” And she said, “I’m a freshman too.” And at the end of the night she told me—
MC: “Text me tomorrow and remind me that I love you.”
LR: So the next day, I texted her saying, “I’m Lizzy Riddle, and we are friends.”
MC: Oh, the story of me meeting Claire is embarrassing. When I first met her, I said –
CQ: “Hey are you Claire Quinn? I stalked you on Facebook.”
MC: In my defense, I knew someone from home who knew her and told me to room with her.
FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?
OH: The second week of freshman year, Anna sharted her pants, and she texted me from the bathroom to bring her a fresh pair of underwear. I barely even knew her.
MC: Well, mine was probably when I woke up to the police banging on my bedroom door. Not our house door. Bedroom door.
OH: Apparently, our back door was open the whole night.
Maggie Quinn: Which was awesome to find out, since I was sleeping on the couch that night.
LR: Tell her why you were sleeping there.
MQ: I don’t want to.
Anna Combs: Maggie wet the bed.
CQ: Carol and Maggie stole traffic cones.
Carolyn Wahlen: It’s true. We almost got arrested. We got yelled at, and they told us to go home right then, so I turned to Maggie and go, “Bye Maggie,” and she went, “Bye Carol,” and then we ran off in opposite directions.
LR: I think my shining moment was when the police came to return my phone and credit card and I was wearing a party police sweatshirt. Sobbing at the door.
MC: As you can tell, we and the UD police go way back.
CW: Claire Quinn’s is when she bonged six beers at a day drink.
CQ: That wasn’t embarrassing, it was impressive.
FN: What’s on your UD bucket list?
CW: See “Lemme Smang It” by Yung Humma, ft. Flynt Flossy, in concert.
CQ: A Tim’s VIP card.
MC: Have a bar crawl from Applebee’s to Chili’s to TGI Fridays and end at Tim’s.
LR: I want UD to win the NCAA so we can riot again. Long live March Madness 2K14.
CW: Host a day drink.
LR: Yes. A Saturday afternoon, Amish-themed, day drink. I’ve already bought my denim dress.
MQ: Butt tattoos.
AC: Matching butt tattoos.
OH: Matching Space Jam butt tattoos.
MQ: It’s so tasteful.
OH: We tried once, but [the tattoo parlor] was closed.
LR: Not me. I am very against it.
AC: But it’s Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny!
LR: That’s ink on your skin forever!
AC: It’s just a butt!
LR: Think about how beautiful and wonderful that butt was when it came out of your mother’s womb!
AC: But everyone will know I was cool when I’m a grandma.
MC: Who will you be mooning as a grandma? I’m with Lizzy on this one. I think it is on her and my bucket lists to simply be spectators while they get these tattoos.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
MQ: Mary Kate is Most Likely to Lay in Everyone’s Bed.
AC: Lizzy is Most Likely to Plan Everyone’s Weddings.
CW: Or Break Out in Song. Most Likely to Never Eat Spam: Claire. Most Likely to Force Her to Eat Spam: me.
AC: Most Likely to Lose all of her Belongings: Maggie Quinn.
MC: Olivia is Most Likely to Sleep All Day if You Let Her.
MQ: She has time management skills like none other, in her defense.
MC: Claire is Most Likely to be Seen Eating Hummus.
MQ: Anna is Most Likely to Make us Pancakes.
AC: Carolyn is Most Likely to Severely Piss Someone Off by Trying to be Nice and Funny.
LR: Or Most Likely to be at the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time.
CW: It’s true. Every single wrong place. At every single wrong time.
FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
OH: Bargo’s Crazy Hour.
LR: We probably won’t have left.
AC: Liv is going to be a doctor and a mother of 10.
MQ: She will have delivered Liv’s eight children by then.
LR: Maggie will still not know where her phone is.
CW: Claire will be a huge meat addict.
LR: Working at the No. 1 meat packing company.
CW: Anna will be married with the cutest family ever.
CQ: Teaching somewhere.
AC: I bet MK will still be dartying every Saturday.
CQ: Lizzy will be a very successful businesswoman.
CW: And I will not.
AC: Carol would be in Guatemala or Peru.
CQ: Yeah, doing some nonprofit work.
MC: With a hot Latino-lover-husband.
CW: Mag will be a softball coach at the local high school.
MQ: I’ve been told I have softball hands.
FN: What Disney character does each roommate most closely resemble?
CW: I say Anna is Belle.
AC: Liv is Sleeping Beauty.
OH: Do I really sleep that much?
AC: Yes! You slept for 13 hours yesterday!
MQ: She is awake for six hours less than me, but she is more productive in that span than I am all day.
LR: Maggie is Dory from “Finding Nemo,” and I’ll tell you why.
MQ: Everyone is a princess but me!
LR: Because Dory has the kindest intentions, but always forgets her stuff.
MC: Lizzy would be the girl from “Enchanted.”
AC: I see Claire as Snow White.
LR: Yeah, because of the cleaning thing.
CW: And also all the boys.
OH: Carolyn, you are Mulan.
CW: Okay, but only because of Li Shang.
MQ: Mary Kate is Jasmine mixed with…
LR: The naked mole rat.
MQ: (singing) What is that? That freaky thing?
FN: Describe each other in one word.
CW: Liv is wise.
OH: Guys, it’s like I’m an 80-year-old man! I sleep all day, and I’m wise!
MQ: Anna is playful.
CW: Claire is kind through and through.
LR: Joyful for Maggie. Wait, scratch that. Batsh-t crazy.
CQ: Carolyn is compassionate.
FN: If you knew you could stay at a certain age forever, what would it be, and why?
LR: Twenty-one. If I could just live in this house forever with these people and share this joy forever, I think that would be a pretty good life.