Porch Profile: The Men of 433 Lowes
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: How did you guys meet?
C.J. Romanelli: I’ve known Patrick my whole life. And then freshman year, I lived on the same floor as Keith and Kevin.
Keith Raad: At the beginning of the year I was playing some golf video game in my room, when I heard a voice from the hallway say “A little to the left.” And sure enough, when I turned around, it was CJ.
Kevin Bogenschutz: And Patrick was just that weird kid that always came around and we would just say, “So, C.J., who’s your friend?”
KR: We’ve all lived together since sophomore year.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
Patrick Dondanville: Keith is Most Likely to Say, “Live from Dayton, Ohio, I’m Keith Raad.”
KB: ESPN’S Dayton correspondent.
KR: C.J. is Most Likely to Teach a “Call of Duty” College Course. Patrick is Most Likely to Pee the Bed.
CR: Kevin is Most Likely to Win like a Million Dollars at Vegas, and then Lose Five Million More.
PD: Doesn’t matter that he’ll have a wife and like four children.
KB: “It’s OK, honey, we mortgaged the house.” I swear I am more responsible than that.
CR: Patrick is Most Likely to Eat Four Bowls of Oatmeal a Day.
PD: I sound like a 90-year-old man that wears diapers. I mean, I am, but still.
KR: C.J. is Most Likely to Not Exist. Our friends almost unanimously decided that, if at graduation, we realized that one of our friends was just a figment of our imagination, it would be C.J.
FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?
KB: Mine and Patrick’s is probably the dance floor of Timothy’s Bar and Grill.
PD: Kevin, I only like being at Tim’s with you.
CR: I would say the Emporium, but…
KR: No way, your room dude.
PD: It’s got to be The Cave.
CR: Keith goes to the radio station a lot.
PD: Or the kitchen.
KR: Nah, courtside of the UD Arena.
CR: And we all go to the Rec a lot.
FN: What is your house song?
KB: Any Hootie song, honestly.
KR: “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing.”
KB: Keith requests it to DJ Butter every single time we are at Tim’s, and every time he says, “Yeah, maybe next time.”
PD: “Reflections,” by Mister
KR: “Send Me on My Way” by Rusted Root.
KB: What’s that one song? (singing) I got my eyes on you…
(Everyone begins chiming in)
KB: Oh! “Hold On We’re Going Home” by Drake. Great song.
FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?
KB: Once, we walked in on Keith being little spoon with his girlfriend.
KR: No, my phone had fallen down the crack between the wall …
CR: And here comes the convenient excuse about why he was in that position.
KR: I had to reach down and get it. I was not little spooning! But what about you Kevin? Every weekend? Or your driving?
PD: That’s not an embarrassing story, he’s just bad.
KR: Oh for C.J.! I was chilling in my sophomore year bedroom, chowing down on some pizza, and the door opens. I just see this 50 foot rowing oar come through the door, with C.J. at the end of it. He’d stolen it from the rowing house.
KB: It was like $700.
CR: I felt so bad. I took it back the very next day.
PD: Mine is probably when I slipped in puke. Or when I walked through our hallway naked, freshman year.
KB: He had taken a shower in all of his clothes.
PD: And then left them there.
KB: We did the Subhouse challenge, which is 16 inches in 16 minutes. In my defense, that’s a pretty gross challenge already.
KR: No propaganda!
KB: Fine. Well, Keith over here was just chowing down, and I get through like eight inches, and I’m not feeling well. So I know I’m not going to finish it, and the owner came over and was like, “Wow. We’ve never had anyone not finish theirs. Well that’s not true, we had a little 8-year-old girl once.”
KR: And then one of our friends offered to eat the rest of it.
FN: What cartoon from your childhood would everyone be?
KR: I’d want to be “Hey Arnold.”
PD: No, You’re not him. You can’t pick your own.
KR: Well that’s Patrick from “SpongeBob” right there.
PD: “I can’t see my forehead.”
CR: Keith is Mike Wazowski from “Monsters, Inc.”
PD: C.J. is Linus from “Charlie Brown.”
CR: Can Kevin be Yoshi?
FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
KB: Patrick will have fallen into a million dollars from inventing something really stupid.
CR: Or investing in something that would be like the next Apple.
KB: Or becoming the head of a Chinese corporation.
PD: Keith would still be here.
KB: “Welcome back to women’s volleyball.”
CR: Kevin will be a PA somewhere.
KR: To clarify – a physician assistant, not a public address announcer.
KB: He thinks that’s what it is.
KR: No, I know what I know it is.
PD: C.J. will be …
KR: Not done with med school.
KB: At a world tournament of “Super Smash Bros.”
FN: What’s on your UD Bucket List?
KB: Well, we’ve already opened and closed Tim’s in one night.
PD: Don’t pee the bed … anymore. I’m on a streak.
KB: CJ tried to shotgun a beer every day of the semester.
CR: Yeah, I got too sick so I dropped that.
PD: Swim across the river.
KB: Go back to all of our old stomping grounds.
KR: Dunk over C.J. at the Rec at the buzzer.
PD: Better buy a trampoline.
CR: Yeah they can lower the rims right?
FN: What would be the ideal St. Patrick’s Day at UD?
PD: Well we would start the night off with a sleepover. All the mattresses in one room. And the alarm is an Irish song.
KB: It’s going to be like Christmas Eve, but better.
CR: Definitely on a Saturday.
KB: We wake up at 3:30 a.m. on a Saturday. Seventy degrees. Oh, and the sun is already out, and nobody understands or cares why.
PD: Your best friend hands you a 40 oz.
CR: Chipotle would be delivered free at our house during the day.
KR: But with a combo of Qdoba and other Brown Street restaurants. Out of a truck.
CR: No lines. Just throwing them out. “You get a burrito. And you get a burrito.” It’d be very Oprah.
KR: I would crowd surf from one end of Lowes to the other.
KB: But someone would drop him in the middle.
PD: There’d be a band just playing in the street.
KB: A real life leprechaun would be there.
KR: And we would cap off the night with cigars on the porch to Irish music.