Porch Profile: The Men of 433 Lowes

By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer

FN: How did you guys meet?

C.J. Romanelli: I’ve known Patrick my whole life. And then freshman year, I lived on the same floor as Keith and Kevin.

Keith Raad: At the beginning of the year I was playing some golf video game in my room, when I heard a voice from the hallway say “A little to the left.” And sure enough, when I turned around, it was CJ.

Kevin Bogenschutz: And Patrick was just that weird kid that always came around and we would just say, “So, C.J., who’s your friend?”

KR: We’ve all lived together since sophomore year.


FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.

Patrick Dondanville: Keith is Most Likely to Say, “Live from Dayton, Ohio, I’m Keith Raad.”

KB: ESPN’S Dayton correspondent.

KR:  C.J. is Most Likely to Teach a “Call of Duty” College Course. Patrick is Most Likely to Pee the Bed.

CR: Kevin is Most Likely to Win like a Million Dollars at Vegas, and then Lose Five Million More.

PD: Doesn’t matter that he’ll have a wife and like four children.

KB: “It’s OK, honey, we mortgaged the house.” I swear I am more responsible than that.

CR: Patrick is Most Likely to Eat Four Bowls of Oatmeal a Day.

PD: I sound like a 90-year-old man that wears diapers. I mean, I am, but still.

KR: C.J. is Most Likely to Not Exist. Our friends almost unanimously decided that, if at graduation, we realized that one of our friends was just a figment of our imagination, it would be C.J.


FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?

KB: Mine and Patrick’s is probably the dance floor of Timothy’s Bar and Grill.

PD: Kevin, I only like being at Tim’s with you.

CR: I would say the Emporium, but…

KR: No way, your room dude.

PD: It’s got to be The Cave.

CR: Keith goes to the radio station a lot.

PD: Or the kitchen.

KR:  Nah, courtside of the UD Arena.

CR: And we all go to the Rec a lot.


FN: What is your house song?

KB: Any Hootie song, honestly.

KR: “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing.”

KB: Keith requests it to DJ Butter every single time we are at Tim’s, and every time he says, “Yeah, maybe next time.”

PD: “Reflections,” by Mister

KR:  “Send Me on My Way” by Rusted Root.

KB: What’s that one song? (singing) I got my eyes on you…

(Everyone begins chiming in)

KB: Oh! “Hold On We’re Going Home” by Drake. Great song.


FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?

KB: Once, we walked in on Keith being little spoon with his girlfriend.

KR: No, my phone had fallen down the crack between the wall …

CR: And here comes the convenient excuse about why he was in that position.

KR: I had to reach down and get it. I was not little spooning! But what about you Kevin? Every weekend? Or your driving?

PD: That’s not an embarrassing story, he’s just bad.

KR:  Oh for C.J.! I was chilling in my sophomore year bedroom, chowing down on some pizza, and the door opens. I just see this 50 foot rowing oar come through the door, with C.J. at the end of it. He’d stolen it from the rowing house.

KB: It was like $700.

CR: I felt so bad. I took it back the very next day.

PD: Mine is probably when I slipped in puke. Or when I walked through our hallway naked, freshman year.

KB: He had taken a shower in all of his clothes.

PD: And then left them there.

KB: We did the Subhouse challenge, which is 16 inches in 16 minutes. In my defense, that’s a pretty gross challenge already.

KR:  No propaganda!

KB: Fine. Well, Keith over here was just chowing down, and I get through like eight inches, and I’m not feeling well. So I know I’m not going to finish it, and the owner came over and was like, “Wow. We’ve never had anyone not finish theirs. Well that’s not true, we had a little 8-year-old girl once.”

KR:  And then one of our friends offered to eat the rest of it.


FN: What cartoon from your childhood would everyone be?

KR:  I’d want to be “Hey Arnold.”

PD: No, You’re not him. You can’t pick your own.

KR: Well that’s Patrick from “SpongeBob” right there.

PD: “I can’t see my forehead.”

CR: Keith is Mike Wazowski from “Monsters, Inc.”

PD: C.J. is Linus from “Charlie Brown.”

CR: Can Kevin be Yoshi?


FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

KB: Patrick will have fallen into a million dollars from inventing something really stupid.

CR: Or investing in something that would be like the next Apple.

KB: Or becoming the head of a Chinese corporation.

PD: Keith would still be here.

KB: “Welcome back to women’s volleyball.”

CR: Kevin will be a PA somewhere.

KR:  To clarify – a physician assistant, not a public address announcer.

KB: He thinks that’s what it is.

KR:  No, I know what I know it is.

PD: C.J. will be …

KR:  Not done with med school.

KB: At a world tournament of “Super Smash Bros.”


FN: What’s on your UD Bucket List?

KB: Well, we’ve already opened and closed Tim’s in one night.

PD: Don’t pee the bed … anymore. I’m on a streak.

KB: CJ tried to shotgun a beer every day of the semester.

CR: Yeah, I got too sick so I dropped that.

PD: Swim across the river.

KB: Go back to all of our old stomping grounds.

KR: Dunk over C.J. at the Rec at the buzzer.

PD: Better buy a trampoline.

CR: Yeah they can lower the rims right?


FN: What would be the ideal St. Patrick’s Day at UD?

PD: Well we would start the night off with a sleepover. All the mattresses in one room. And the alarm is an Irish song.

KB: It’s going to be like Christmas Eve, but better.

CR: Definitely on a Saturday.

KB: We wake up at 3:30 a.m. on a Saturday. Seventy degrees. Oh, and the sun is already out, and nobody understands or cares why.

PD: Your best friend hands you a 40 oz.

CR: Chipotle would be delivered free at our house during the day.

KR:  But with a combo of Qdoba and other Brown Street restaurants. Out of a truck.

CR: No lines. Just throwing them out. “You get a burrito. And you get a burrito.” It’d be very Oprah.

KR:  I would crowd surf from one end of Lowes to the other.

KB: But someone would drop him in the middle.

PD: There’d be a band just playing in the street.

KB: A real life leprechaun would be there.

KR:  And we would cap off the night with cigars on the porch to Irish music.

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