Editor helps students avoid finals, responsibilities

By: Mary Kate Dorr – A&E Editor

Ah, April. Goodbye to winter coats, windburn and waking up from your afternoon nap not knowing if it is 6 p.m. or midnight. Now we are free to roam around in shorts and relish in our last month at the best school in the world (or so I’ve heard). Unfortunately, life didn’t get the memo: we’ve checked out mentally for the summer .Unfortunately, we still have to cope with the responsibilities of young adulthood. We can’t run away from our problems, but we can avoid them for as long as possible and hope they go away.

  1. Do your laundry. It tricks your mind into thinking you’re being productive and helps you continue to avoid actual responsibilities.
  2. Make an Instagram account for your dog.
  3. Call your parents. Call your grandparents. Call your aunts and uncles. They will listen to you rant about the trivial details of your day and maybe even (pretend to) care.
  4. Ask your roommates controversial questions. No matter what your actual opinion is, disagree with them.
  5. Update your LinkedIn profile to remind yourself how (kind of) professional and successful you are.
  6. Order yourself a pizza. You are helping the economy after all.
  7. The same goes for online shopping.
  8. Or shopping in general. It never hurts to get out of the library for a while.
  9. Learn to rap Eminem’s “Rap God.” It’ll be more impressive when you’re 25 than talking about your GPA. As the age-old saying goes, everybody hates the kid who talks about their GPA.
  10. Facebook stalk yourself back to 2008.
  11. Make a notecard for your next exam every time you find a picture of yourself wearing Aeropostale as punishment.
  12. Google the calorie count in your favorite meal. Cry.
  13. Put on workout clothes so you COULD go to the gym, but probably still won’t.
  14. See how fast you can finish a series on Netflix. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Nothing great was ever accomplished without first binge-watching ‘How I Met Your Mother,’” or something like that.
  15. Take every Buzzfeed quiz ever because knowing which Harry Potter house you would be placed in is much more important than anything pertaining to your degree.
  16. Google “animals dressed up like other animals.” You’ll thank me later.
  17. Go to the library to study but “accidentally” forget to plug in your earphones. See how long it takes someone to approach you. Maybe you’ll actually study, too!
  18. Take a nap. Don’t wake up until August 2015 (or move-in day, to be exact).
  19. Cry quietly into a pillow if you’re a senior because move-in day is no longer a marked date on your calendar.
  20. Make a to-do list. Don’t do anything on your to-do list because you never had a teenage rebellion stage and here’s your chance.
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