Housing change evicts Marianists

By: Jack Schlueter – Senior, Chemical Engineering

The new AVIATE program, which uses PATH points to assign campus housing, including that in the student neighborhood, may have unintended consequences for some of the neighborhood’s most beloved residents: the Marianist brothers.

If you were to stop by the brothers’ house this year, you would notice tension in the normally peaceful dwelling. “We’re very concerned about accumulating enough points to retain our house, and it’s taking a toll on community life,” Brother Brandon Paluch, who works in the center for social concern, said. “We were just too busy to go to all of the AVIATE events.” Very involved students have voiced similar complaints, which have fallen on deaf ears in housing and residence life. The brothers, however, seem to think this system is fair, even if it could cost them their house, “We probably brought this upon ourselves,” Brother Tom Pieper, campus minister in Stuart, said. “We chose to live lives of service to the less fortunate. Not having time to attend the AVIATE events is our own fault.”

The Marianist brothers, who have lived in the neighborhood for years, are members of the religious order that founded the University of Dayton. Currently, most of the brothers live at 312 Stonemill Road. Under the old lottery system, the brothers were given the first pick of a house, and they always chose 312 Stonemill, with the exception of the 1997 lottery when they unsuccessfully tried to steal the Pi Phi House.

The brothers are looking at other housing options. They need a house that can sleep 10 people, has space for a chapel and is handicap accessible. Given their lack of PATH points and the few number of houses on campus that meet these needs, it’s unlikely that they will be able to retain 312 Stonemill. In an attempt to be more flexible, their housing group could be split up, scattering the brothers across university housing. “I just really hope some of us don’t get stuck in Irving Commons. It’s too far for me in the winter,” Brother Tom Farnsworth, a psychology professor, said.

The brothers are also considering landlord housing. “We’re really banking on the crack house (1427 and 1429 Frericks Way). It’s big enough for our needs and very reasonably priced. However, I’m not sure if we have the budget to hand out all of the free Tang like the gentlemen this year did. It could really bankrupt us,” Brother Dan Klso, the treasurer of the community, said. Slanty is another option for some of the brothers, but they are concerned that the house might actually fall down on them.

Editor’s Note: This article is satirical. All Marianist brothers are still able to retain their current accomodations, for now.