By: Mary Kate Dorr – A&E Editor
It’s here, the holiday everyone hates to love or loves to hate: Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re happily flying solo, already stocking up on bags of chocolate to eat away your feelings, or giddily making plans to spend the day with your significant other, you have to admit that nothing pairs as well with a day devoted to love than binge-watching classic romantic movies. With so many to choose from and such little time, you may be feeling overwhelmed. Have no fear, as I have developed the ultimate guide to choosing the perfect film for your Valentine’s Day.
Watch if: your Valentine’s Day will be filled with a candlelit dinner, a dozen red roses and a stuffed animal because this too is a romantic cliche. I’m sure you and your significant other will hold hands through the entire film, shed a few tears here and there and promise each other that you will never leave the way Allie left Noah. Spoiler alert: neither of them are birds, and your boyfriend probably thinks the movie sucks.
Watch if: you have absolutely no plans for Valentine’s Day, because this film is ridiculously long. However, a dapper young Leo makes up for the length. It’s horrifyingly sad, so this is a great choice if you have just been dumped and feel like pushing your ex into the freezing depths of the north Atlantic Ocean. Laugh as Kate Winslet survives and DiCaprio sinks to the bottom while throwing Dove chocolates at the TV. Refrain from texting your ex that you will never let go of.
When Harry Met Sally
Watch if: you’re in love with your best friend, which, according to every rom-com, like, ever made, you probably are because apparently men and women cannot be “just friends.” Go put on your old prom dress, pretend it’s New Year’s Eve and unlock your front door because any minute, your BFF will come bursting in to declare his love for you, since he loves that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out and that it takes you an hour-and-a-half to order a sandwich.
Watch if: some idiot recently wasted too much of your time, and you don’t plan on changing out of sweats for the entirety of Valentine’s Day. Sulk, sob and order a large pizza because you deserve it, dammit! If you have lost all hope, often make jokes about how many cats you’re going to adopt and hate on your roommate in a relationship, this is the film for you.
Watch if: you and your significant other are super down-to-earth and plan to avoid the V-Day crowds. Order some take-out and turn on this flick that is guaranteed to make you both laugh and maybe even get a little sappy. It’s about baseball, so most guys should love it because #sports and most girls will love it because it stars Jimmy Fallon. It’s a win-win, unless you’re a Boston Red Sox Fan of course.
Crazy, Stupid, Love
Watch if: you and your friends are looking for a perfect combination of laughter and bashing happy couples. Also watch if you’re struggling with have an “it’s complicated” relationship status because the bizarre love triangles and drama in this film will make you feel as if your current relationship is perfectly normal or healthy. Which it probably isn’t.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Watch if: you’ve recently been blown off or the object of your affection has a significant other. You’re probably spending Valentine’s Day starring at your phone, either internally begging them to text you or stalking their current S.O. on all forms of social media. You make up excuse after excuse as to why you are not spending the day together, but, the truth is, they’re just not that into you.
Friends with Benefits
Watch if: you and your significant other are best friends. You have found a happy medium of sappy romancing and relentlessly making fun of each other. You’re perfect for each other, and everyone knows it. You do weird things like chest bump, but the obvious ease of your relationship coupled with how into each other you both are makes you the object of everyone’s envy. You might think you have it all, but you still don’t look like Mila Kunis or Justin Timberlake, so you don’t.
Stills courtesy of respective films and theatrical posters.