Porch Profile: The Men of 305 Stonemill

By: Rosie Rucoba – Porch Correspondent

Featuring Brendan Sweetman, Justin Zdunek, Kevin Hill, and Brad Puet. Chad Green and Zach Claus were not present for the interview.

FN: How did you all meet?

Brad Puet: Everyone but Justin lived on the same floor at Founders. I knew Justin from pledging, so we decided to bring him in because we needed a sixth person.

Kevin Hill: Actually, I asked my friend Matt if he wanted to live with us because he had lived with us prior to this year. I had asked Matt what he was doing for housing and, as the housing process came around, whatever Justin had fell through.

Justin Zdunek: I knew Kevin just a little bit because Matt was my roommate, I talked to Brendan once or twice, and I didn’t know Brad at all.

FN: If you could give everyone in your house a superlative, what would it be and why?

Brendan Sweetman: Brad’s is probably Most Likely to Have a Stain on His Shirt.

JZ: Do I have one?

BS: Justin’s would be Most Likely to Be First in Line at a Vineyard Vines Sale.

BP: Chad is Most Likely to be Confused with a Dad because he looks like one and he’s balding. I went up to him freshman year and was like, “Hello, sir. How are you? Whose father are you?” and he was like, “I’m a student.”

KH: For Brendan, Most Likely to Be Obese in his 40s.

JZ: Kevin is Most Likely to Die of Caffeine Overload.

KH: Zach is Least Likely to Go to Bed.

FN: What is your Spirit Animal and why?

BP: Sloth.

BS: Chad is a walrus.

KH: Justin is a like a chicken—he’s really twitchy. No! Squirrel! Justin is a squirrel.

BS: Zach is a baboon.

JZ: (to Brendan) What’s a loud animal?

BP: Brendan is a macaw—talks all the time and has bright colors.

BS: Kevin is a German Shepard!

FN: What is on your bucket list?

KH: Visit everywhere we’ve lived before.

JZ: Not get fined by the end of the year.

BP: Get a job.

All: Yeah. Get a job.

KH: For Brendan to actually take home everything that he brought.

BS: Get Zach a mattress pad to sleep on. Have Chad get a full head of hair.

FN: What is your most embarrassing moment at UD?

KH: When Brad got picked up by the cops when he was sober on Thursday night when he was walking home! Brad doesn’t know how to walk. They picked him up because they thought he was drunk.

BS: What is Chad’s?

JZ: When I got lost in the city of Dayton and had to call the cops to take me home.

KH: When Brad wrestled Brendan and threw him to the ground. And Zach’s has got to be when he fell asleep with the cheese stick in his mouth.

BP: The most embarrassing thing was when Chad went to the gym once.

KH: I was trying to get past Brendan and he was being obnoxious, as usual. He bumped me and I just kind of sat down into the wall.

BS: And there was a nice hole!

FN: Do you have any advice to underclassmen?

KH: Enjoy freshman year.

BS: Join SGA!!!

BP: Get involved with something you love.

JZ: Work hard. Play hard.

BS: : [Quoting Ferris Bueller:] “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you might miss it.”

KH: Shower once a day.

BS: Pay taxes and don’t go to jail. If all of society did that we would be in good shape.


Photo Courtesy of Christian Cubacub – Multimedia Editor

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