The Men of 1518 Frericks

By: Erin Ottesen – Porch Correspondent

FN: How did you all meet?

Bryan Kinch: We all lived on six middle in Marycrest except for Danny.

Danny Ulbricht: I was MVP pick-up of junior year. I met Erik and Alan through the skiing and snowboarding club.

Kevin Poynton: Kinch knew of me in high school.

Erik Kurcz: Steven was my roommate freshman year.


FN: If you could give everyone in your house a superlative, what would it be?

Alan George: I’d probably have Worst Jokes.

DU: Erik is Most Likely to Burst Through the Door and Scream Obscenities.

EK: I was gonna say Most Likely to Sleep on the Couch.

KP: Alan is Most Likely to Have a Long Shower.

BK: We could also throw in something about how long Alan takes in the bathroom.

AG: But bad jokes trump.

EK: Puns, mostly.

DU: Steve’s the Best Dressed.

DU: Kevin is Most Likely to Be on the Phone with His Mom.

EK: Bryan has Best Hips. “Hips Don’t Lie” is his favorite song to dance to.


FN: What is on your bucket list for this semester?

BK: My bucket list is to get rid of Kevin and Erik.

KP: Have a last house dinner in a micro-brew or something.

DU: I don’t wanna make it a goal to go to Tim’s senior night.

BK: House bucket list is Kevin goes to Tim’s once.

EK: Go in the hot tub at the Rec. The first time I’ve been in the pool was two weeks ago.

BK: Win a frickin’ intramural T-shirt.

Steven Goodman: Win an intramural shirt because we’ve lost to the same people every year.

AG: I have no idea what to say… my bucket list is to come up with something.

BK: Kevin wants to learn how to swim.

EK: Kevin would be Captain Catholic.


FN: What is your most embarrassing moment at UD?

AG: Freshman year, Flyer Consulting did an audit of the ski club and Erik was supposed to go but he couldn’t make it, so he texted me last minute to go, and when I walked in the door, they were already presenting and everyone was in suits. I was in jeans and a T-shirt, and they were like, “Look, a member of ski club is here.”

DU: Sophomore year, we got written up on the first day because we were making mixed drinks with a blender.

BK: I had been at college for four hours of my sophomore year and got written up.

SG: Our friend, who shall remain nameless, didn’t recognize the two people standing at the door and threw the door open and it was an RA.


FN: If you were all back for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

BK: Erik would be running Bloomberg. Alan would be the world’s No. 3 DJ.

SG: And he’d still be making terrible jokes. Actually, they’d probably be worse.

EK: Bryan would be making non-GMO organic coffee soap.

KP: I’ll probably have 13 kids.

BK: Steve’s gonna be president of The Onion. Alan, I picture you as some kind of Bigfoot.

EK: Steven will be president of The Onion .

KP: Danny will be back in Europe.

EK: I’ll be becoming the wolf of Wall Street.


FN: What is your spirit animal and why?

DU: I’m a wolf. I’m a roamer, and I’m noble.

BK: I would say that I’m a squirrel probably… could you guys see that? I’m an insane person.

AG: I’d be a mountain lion—I’m from Colorado.

EK: I’d be Perry the Platypus.

AG: He used to disappear freshman year.

EK: I still have a habit of disappearing, bouncing around and coming back hours later with no explanation.

DU: Kevin, what about a sheep because the lord is your shepherd?

KP: Alright, I’ll be a sheep.

AG: What animal writes really well?

SG: The general consensus is that I’m an owl.

AG: Purdue Owl!


FN: Do you have any advice for underclassmen?

AG: Crest is the best.

SG: Always leave your door open freshman year.

DU: Get involved with organizations early. There’s bound to be one you like here, and it’s a good way to meet people early on.

KP: Get involved, get out of the woodwork and don’t wait until you’re a junior.

BK: Go to downtown, go to Fronana.

AG: Enjoy your easy classes—it gets worse.

EK: Save two or three easy classes for senior year.

KP: Talk to professors.

DU: Remember names.

KP: If you have two giant arm chairs, push them together and make a boat. Copyright that.


FN: Anything else you would like to add?

AG: So, junior year we called our house “chalet.”

DU: Now we’re il chateau .

BK: English is the second most-spoken language in our house.

DU: We use slang extensively.

BK: And yelling in gibberish.

AG: Like, if you wanna try a bite of someone’s food, you say, “Can I zibble that zabble?”

SG: Our house GroupMe is “yelling in noises.”

AG: We have different words for things: a burrito is a burtango.

KP: Milk is “cow juice” or “nectar of the bovine gods.”


Photo by Multimedia Editor Chris Santucci. 

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