Porch Profile:The Men of 1923 Trinity
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: How did you guys meet?
Kevin Greco: We all lived in Founders three North and somewhat South. Ricky lived in Stuart, though.
Ricky Teter: We all met sophomore year in the summer, though. That was definitely the wildest summer of my life.
Ian Cross: Kevin and I also went to high school together.
Kyle Bordner: We kind of always knew each other, and then we just became really good friends.
Kyle Hurley: It was definitely a budding friendship throughout the years.
FN: If your house came with a warning label, what would it say?
IC: “Warning: No Girls.”
KB: “Love Makes a House a Home.” (Everyone gestures to a sign with the same phrase above the doorframe.)
KG: That sign was all thanks to Ricky.
RT: My mom bought it for a dollar. And about the no girls thing, there really aren’t very many fifth-year girls, that’s the reason.
KB: We actually just don’t hang out with girls.
FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?
IC: I slept through half of my first final ever freshman year. Two hundred students in a chemistry final, and I walked in halfway through.
KB: And here you are as a fifth-year. That explains a lot.
KG: I just live in a state of continual embarrassment.
RT: Well, once, I was smoking a cigar and I didn’t know how to smoke it… then I proceeded to throw up.
KH: My roommate and I junior year were talking a lot of trash to parents about beer pong, and they completely destroyed us. Then it was their turn to talk trash to us, and they did so the rest of the weekend.
KG: Wait, I just remembered something way more embarrassing for Ian. He was selected as College Fashionista. Ian and I were getting coffee last year, and this girl stopped us, visibly star struck or something, and asked for a picture of his outfit for an article online. I’m sure you could still find it if you looked.
FN: What were you wearing?
IC: I was wearing jeans, an olive green army jacket, Ray Bans, Clarks desert brown boots and an orange waffle shirt. It was pretty embarrassing. My friend posted it, and, like, 100 people liked it.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
KB: (points at KH) Tim’s Rat.
KG: He never goes to Tim’s.
IC: I don’t think the rest of us have missed a Thursday this year, though, so good for us.
KG: Ricky is Most Time Spent Alone. The Lone Ranger.
RT: That sounds so lame…
KG: Ian is Most Classes Missed this Semester. Well, Ian and Kyle Hurley are fighting for it right now.
IC: No, Kyle is Most Likely to be Up at 5 a.m.
KH: I am not a morning person unless I’m coming from the other side. Just last week, I had a meeting at 8 a.m., which is atypical for me and my schedule, so I just stayed up all night until the meeting.
KG: Ian you might win Most Drunk based on last weekend’s Snapchat.
IC: Though that was kind of on purpose, it’s completely valid.
KG: Ian, Hurley and I probably Spend the Most Time on the Couch.
RT: They’re the mechanical engineers.
KG: Yeah, we don’t like to mix with the chemical engineers (gestures to KB and RT).
IC: You know, I probably shouldn’t be put down as Most Drunk, I want to show this to my parents…
KG: Kyle Bordner is Most Likely to be Here for a Sixth Year.
RT: And Kevin is Most Clean.
KB: Yeah, he comes back from Tim’s and cleans.
KH: He’ll be basically passed out on the floor and simultaneously vacuuming.
KG: What can I say? It’s my one redeeming quality, so I have to capitalize on it.
FN: What are the most underrated and overrated parts of UD?
KB: Do you want the tour guide answer?
KG: What is it?
KH: Wait, are you saying you lie? On tours?
KB: Most underrated: Trinity.
IC: Most overrated: class.
KG: Except the tuition.
IC: Housing costs.
RT: Wine is pretty underrated.
KH: No, if we are talking alcohol, gin is extremely underrated.
KB: Nothing is overrated. Everything here is perfect.
FN: What cartoon from your childhood is your favorite?
KB: “Rocket Power.” Woogity woogity woogity.
KG: I also really liked “Doug.”
KB: No wait… “Arthur.”
IC: Nah, too much learning in that.
RT: I watched a lot of “SpongeBob.”
KB: Who’s your favorite character?
KG: You would.
IC: Mine has to be “Tom and Jerry”
(The other roommates collectively groan.)
KG: Well, now you look way cooler than the rest of us.
KH: And you’re really showing how old we are. It’s like saying, “I’m going to go with ‘Steamboat Willie.’”
FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?
RT: Old Stuart hill, before the turf field, was pretty cool. Someone freshman year took out an inflatable air mattress on one of the really snowy days, and we all piled on and went down the hill.
KH: I liked the roof of the green house on College Park next to the Sig Ep house.
IC: Definitely the bench at the top of Stuart Hill.
KG: The porch of our house last year on Lawnview.
KB: Does Taco Bell count?
FN: If you were to be visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would you be up to?
KH: I would not be there.
KG: Hopefully, I’ll be beginning my career.
RT: Well, in 10 years I’m going to be a foot doctor. But I’m going to be in New York, so that’s pretty cool. I’m going to be poor in New York City. Oh, and I want a daughter.
KB: How old will I be then? 33? Okay, I have a vision of what I will be doing.
KG: Preach it, brother.
KB: Oh, I didn’t know I actually had to tell you. Well. Hopefully, I’ll have a job. A great job. And doing some sort of management in maybe like a Kraft Mac and Cheese company? And I’ll be married to a hot wife with brown hair between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 11 inches.
KG: So specific. And what will she smell like? She sounds hot.
RT: Lemongrass, probably.
KG: What will she do?
KB: She’ll be a patent lawyer.
(Other roommates groan): Ugh, that’s the worst one you could’ve picked! Nobody wants to do that!
KB: I also want two dogs, one black and one yellow. They will come from the same litter and love each other very much. I’ll have two children, one female and one male. And I will regularly visit my family at their lake house that I pay for. I will also live in Chicago.
KG: Oh, and his apartment will have exposed brick. He currently has no potential job or anything, but he has already been apartment shopping in Chicago. The only qualifications he needs are exposed brick and an in-unit washer and dryer.
KB: Yep. That’s my vision.
KG: Well, Kyle’s vision pretty much said it all for us.
IC: Put me down as an astronaut space cowboy.