Porch Profile: The Women of 324 Stonemill
By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer
FN: How did you guys meet?
Lexie Wiegel: Abby and I met at the first day at Honors Orientation.
Sammi Morakis: Elise and I met at the at the hotel, move-in weekend.
Libby Harbaugh: Well, Elise and I met online. First through Porches, and then Facebook. I liked her name, messaged her and the rest is history.
Elise McNall: Yeah, I ditched my other possible roomie for her.
SM: Beth and I lived together in Stuart, but I shacked every day at Marycrest with these losers. They had a sleeping bag and everything for me.
Abby Carr: Beth came later, actually. I didn’t even know her moving in junior year.
LH: But it all worked out wonderfully.
FN: If your house came with a warning label, what would it say?
LW: Caution: David May.
SM: How about, Caution: Everyone is naked. Wait, no. Caution: Abby is naked.
AC: Caution: Toilet is clogged. They are both sometimes clogged at the same time.
Beth Shields: Sorry …
SM: We have a bad sewage system here. I swear it’s not our fault …
FN: Care to share your most embarrassing moment at UD?
BS: When we flashed everyone in Daytona. Except that wasn’t embarrassing. It was awesome.
LW: Abby took an hour to get back from Tim’s one night because she couldn’t find her way home.
SM: Well, I peed my pants at Tim’s. And then stayed till close.
LH: I just don’t get embarrassed.
SM: Whenever Libby gets really drunk, she gets really embarrassed.
LH: That’s true. I get really bad post-drinking depression.
EM: Remember, Lexie, when you got really drunk in Daytona and told everyone that you hated them?
LH: The only thing that comes out of her mouth when she is drunk is, “Oh my god, I hate her.”
LW: Sammi remember when you “Pitch Perfect-ed” in the bathroom?
EM: I don’t even know where to start
SM: Oh, no, I’ve got one for Elise. She wanted to be her dead cat, Snowball freshman year. All year, she had told stories about her cat, Snowball, like he was still alive. But then one night, she got really drunk, told us that Snowball had actually died, and then proceeded to get on all fours and “be Snowball.”
EM: Her ashes are still at my house! Snowball McNall forever and always.
FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.
LW: Sammi’s Most Likely to Pee her Pants.
LH: Beth and Abby are Most Likely to End up at Bdubz.
SM: Lexie, you’re Most Likely to Wear a Crop Top.
EM: Abby is Most Likely to Show her Boobs.
AC: Libby is Most Likely to Spend 45 Minutes Perfecting an Instagram.
LW: Or most Likely to FaceTime.
LH: True. I do love FaceTime.
LW: Elise is Most Likely to Lie.
EM: Not true.
AC: And then forget her story and mess up the lie.
EM: Okay, true.
AC: Lexie is Most Likely to Eat a Lean Cuisine.
LW: So what, I don’t like to cook.
FN: What’s on your UD bucket list?
SM: Streak down Stonemill.
LH: Go to Tanks.
LW: Go to the Oregon District and drink.
AC: Take a naked lap around the pool deck at Daytona.
SM: Yeah, everything pretty much any freshman has done, we have to still do. We have really good intentions, but we just never get there.
FN: Who is your celebrity counterpart?
SM: Oh, Idina Menzel. “Let It Go.”
LW: I want to be a princess.
LH: Go with Cinderella, Lex, and rep her loud and proud. If she could be all of the Disney princesses in one, she would.
LW: Except “Brave.”
AC: What about Tiana?
LW: I’ve heard that they have good food in New Orleans.
AC: I want to be Rebel Wilson in “Pitch Perfect.”
LH: And I want to be Rebel Wilson in “Night at the Museum 3.”
LW: Elise wants to be Brooke Davis.
EM: Yes, truth.
AC: And Beth wants to be Haley.
LH: I’d say Elise is more like a Phoebe. She’s our unique little angel.
LW: Lib wants to be Tammy Taylor from “Friday Night Lights.”
AC: Can you tell that we watch Netflix here?
FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?
SM: Back bar [at Tim’s.]
LW: Taco Bell, R.I.P.
BS: Abby and mine’s first booth at Bdubz.
LH: Elise’s is “Chillin from place to place.”
LW: Sixth floor library.
SM: Miss MCAT over here.
FN: If you guys were to be visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
LH: This is the one I was ready for. Beth will be in small-town Ohio with her Prince Charming.
SM: Driving a truck. Teaching high school math.
AC: With like seven kids already. Ten years is plenty of time to pop them out.
LH: Abby will be running around naked.
LW: Married to Doug.
SM: Elise will be living the J. Crew lifestyle.
LW: Probably have quit her job by then.
LH: And be on the next Housewives of D.C.
AC: Or a stay-at-home tractor driver.
LH: With little Elises running around.
SM: Libby will be speaking Spanish somewhere where they actually speak Spanish.
EM: Yeah, her mom will come instead of her.
SM: Lexi will literally be Christina Yang.
LW: Who is Christina Yang?
LH: Sammi will be living in Hilton Head, living next to her grandparents.
SM: No, I’ll be living down south.
FN: What is your house song?
SM: Abby is “Back Road,” Lexie is “House Party,” Libby is “Ugly Heart,” Beth is “I Don’t F— With You.”
BS: Sammi is “Defying Gravity.”
LH: And Elise doesn’t have iTunes. Freshman year she asked if she could “borrow mine.”
AC: But what is that song that Elise always plays?
AC: That’s the one. That’s Elise’s song.
EM: (Starts playing “Landslide” on phone.)
FN: What food do you miss most from the dining hall?
BS: Abby and I miss chicken bowls.
EM: I miss the Philly cheese steaks.
LH: And the blueberry bagels.
LW: I miss the Mexican bar from Marycrest. And the Quarterback.
AC: I really miss biscuits and gravy.
FN: What has changed about UD that you wish hadn’t?
SM: I never experienced The Pub, and I still wish that it was open.
BS: St. Paddy’s Day being on a weekend.
LW: Oh, that everyone gets free books now!
SM: Also, you used to be able to leave your trash cans out as long as you want and not get fined.
AC: I don’t like that they changed the name of the CPC.
EM: Wait they changed the name of the CPC?
LH: And I still don’t know how to pronounce the name of the soccer field.
LW: I don’t like the new hours of the library, honestly.
All: Classic Lexie.