Porch Profile: The Women of 234 Stonemill

By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer

FN: So how did you meet?

Laura Komoroski: We lived on the same floor freshman year.

Katy Garcia: Ellie and I were freshman year roommates. And Emmy and Sam were roommates.

Sam Santoro: We were across the hall in Marianist.

Jenna Gerstle: We lived together in Campus South sophomore year.

LK: And then we lived right next door last year.

SS: Just a hop, skip and a jump away.

 

FN: Do you have any house traditions?

Ellie Grandi: We drink?

LK: We sit around our coffee table and take shots.

EG: We only drink Korski.

SS: We do Disney power hours. And we have an odd habit of Uber-ing to fast food places at early hours, and taking the drivers in with us.

KG: Or having them order our food for us.

Emmy Pickerill: We put Sriracha sauce on everything.

 

FN: If you all were to be visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

EG: Jenna will be married.

SS: With two kids. She will be a soccer mom. Ellie will own a dog pound, because she will have adopted so many by then.

EG: Katy will be unemployed trying to work as a radio star. And she will be on “Real World/Road Rules Challenge.”

KG: I’ll be on it five times by then. I’ve applied, but never heard back.

LK: Sam will be a news reporter. We will see her on TV with her hair whipping around everywhere.

JG: Laura will be living in Canada.

LK: Awesome.

SS: No, Laura will be a rave girl. The ones that get paid just to flock around at the concerts, you know?

LK: Are you serious, guys?

SS: “Sam, you will be a weather girl.” Are you kidding me?

LK: At least you’ll have a job!

EG: Emmy will be planning her wedding for the fiance that she doesn’t have.

KG: And her color scheme will be turquoise and coral.

EP: No it won’t. Those colors don’t go in the fall.

EG: This Porch Profile is going to break our house up.

 

FN: What would you say the theme song of 234 Stonemill Road is?

LK: “Ain’t It Fun” was a theme song for a while.

KG: We all have our own personal theme… sheme thong … theme song.

SS: Katy has a lisp, if you couldn’t tell. Put that in there.

LK: All of “Bangerz.”

EG: “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift.

SS: When that comes on, everyone drops everything and bawls their eyes out.

 

FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.

LK: Jenna is Most Organized and Most Prepared.

EG: Katy is Loudest.

SS: Most Likely to Never Shut Up.

LK: Mine is Most Likely to Not be Heard.

SS: We don’t listen to Laura.

LK: Jenna is Most Likely to get Married, Live in the Suburbs and Have 2.5 Kids. And Ellie is Most Likely to be Crying About her Homework.

EG: I am actually Most Likely to Cry About a Haircut. Emmy is Most Likely to Not Remember her Night.

KG: I am so mad I never got one of these in high school. I should’ve gotten Best Hair.

EG: Sam is Most Likely to Tell You When She’s Really Drunk.

LK: “Guys I am sooo drunk.”

 

FN: What is your most embarrassing moment at UD?

LK: Freshman year, I knocked my front tooth out.

SS: From running into a parked car.

LK: I was picking up pebbles and gum trying to find my tooth, and a cop came up to me with it in his hand.

EG: I’d say mine is freshman year. Just all of it.

SS: For me, when I was watching “WWE” by myself, and everyone walked in on me watching wrestling.

EG: One time, Emmy broke a bookshelf twice in one night. Five shelves.

SS: From falling into it.

EP: It fell down, I put back up, and it fell down again.

KG: Ellie’s is when she called this guy the wrong name for two years straight.

JG: Well, I hit someone with my car.

SS: But she got his number and they started texting, so I guess it was a little romantic?

KG: I am just an embarrassment.

SS: Here’s the thing, we all do embarrassing things each and every day, but not things that we want people to know. It stays in our house.

 

FN: What’s your house slogan?

ALL: No rules.

SS: With a “Z.”

LK: Especially when Jenna’s not home.

EG: Broken hearts and smelly farts.

SS: But girls don’t fart. We were going to make it our Valentine’s Daysheet sign.

EG: But we were too embarrassed. So instead, we put it in the newspaper…

 

FN: Being seniors, what advice do you guys want to give the underclassmen?

KG: Buy medium-sized shirts. Getting small shirts was the biggest mistake ever.

LK: Don’t be an accounting major.

EP: Don’t be a communication major.

LK: Try not to major in anything if you can.

KG: Don’t buy alcohol from Wal-mart.

LK: Always be quiche.

SS: And don’t eat quiche.

KG: Go to Culture Fest.

EP: Live, laugh, love.

SS: Wear comfortable shoes.

LK: Do less.

KG: You can change your major five times and still graduate on time.

 

FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?

JG: The Gazebo.

EG: The Metal Tree, you know, the one outside of Kettering Labs?

SS: My bed.

LK: Sam’s bed.

EP: Tim’s.

KG: No, the post at Tim’s.

EG: Mine is the grinding floor at Tim’s.

KG: Let’s freaking grind. Mine is the new weight room.

 

FN: If you knew you could stay at a certain age forever, what would it be, and why?

All: Twenty-one.

EG: You can get extremely drunk and not get hungover.

SS: We have no responsibilities.

EP: Twenty-two is just too old.

SS: Laura and I are the only ones that are still 21, so you can tell that they’re all salty about it.

EG: I would like to change mine to 50.

LK: Thirty, flirty and thriving.

SS: As a rave girl.