Porch Profile: The Women of 18 Woodland

By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer

FN: How did you guys meet?

Allie Heraty: I met Meghan the first day of freshman year. Humanities Plaza was where it began … She had just been dumped.

Amanda Ronshausen: Meghan and I went to high school together, although really became friends as floormates freshman year.

Marissa Mueller: I think we all became friends sophomore year.

Hallie Wiedner: Jasper is where it all flourished.


FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.

Meghan Ostermueller: Hallie is Most Likely to Tell You the Truth.

AH: Or scream in your face.

MM: Meghan is the Best Dancer.

MO: No I am not.

HW: Yes, you are. Are you kidding me? Money Maker?

MO: Amanda is Betty Crocker. She bakes things all the time.

HW: That we come back and eat at 2 a.m.

MO: Marissa is the Mom.

AR: She initiates the family dinners.

MM: Allie is the Clown.

HW: No, Allie is Most Likely to Give You a Cliché When You’re Depressed.

MO: She always has a motivational quote as her background.


FN: What is your house song?

HW: We are big Sheryl Crow fans.

AH: *sings* “The first cut is the deepest …”

MO: “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.

AH: We like to jam to Whitney Houston in the parking lot, too.

AR: We love our throwbacks,

MO: “Shower” is Allie’s anthem.

AH: Becky G is my girl.


FN: What’s your most embarrassing moment at UD?

AH: I’m trying to think of one that could go in the paper … Well, once I got stuck to an elliptical. I was trying to get the cleaner and my shirt got stuck in the spinning part of this guy’s elliptical. I got like sucked into it, and we eventually just had to rip me out. I left the rec with a huge hole in my shirt.

MO:  There are so many. How about that one time it was the first day being at Dayton and I was crying to a bunch of girls I had just met about being dumped over the phone. Long distance relationships are rough, especially when it’s been an entire day without seeing your significant other.

AH: I went to the Galley to get a milkshake, so clearly I got a Mocha Madness. I went to the Rec after, and the guy checking me in told me to check my reflection when I got a chance. When I checked, I had milkshake all over my face. I was like the Joker of chocolate.

HW: The Stuart Hill was a rough place for me. I crawled up it. And fell down it a lot.

AH: Also, Hallie threw up once in a towel, came downstairs and handed it to me, and then I spent the next hour scrubbing it in the shower. And where was Hallie?

HW: I had gone to bed.


FN: If you guys could be any Disney character, who would everyone be and why?

HW: Don’t give me a Disney princess.

AH: Just for that, I am making you Cinderella.

MM: No, this isn’t Disney, but Hallie is literally Tibby from “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.”

MO: I feel like Allie would be Sebastian.

AH: “Ariel, life under the sea is anything better than what they got up there.” I love Disney Pandora, that’s how I knew that.

HW: Meghan, you’re the genie, because you make people’s wishes come true.

MO: How is that me?

HW: I just think you’re a good friend.

MO: Aw, thanks Hal.

AH: Marissa, you’re Mrs. Potts!

MM: “C’mon Chip, get to the cupboard.”

MO: Amanda is Grandmother Willow from “Pocahontas” because she is so wise.


FN: Who do you want to see perform in Daytona?

AH: Sheryl Crow or Sean Paul. I have diverse taste.

AR: But Kid Rock would have to make an appearance for “Picture.”

AH: And only if Cher Lloyd and Becky G came too. My girl times two.


FN: Do you have any advice for underclassmen?

AH: Bill’s Donuts is not the same as Stan’s Donuts. Meghan and I went like three times, and we didn’t know why everyone thought it was so great but we thought it was terrible. Then we realized we were at the wrong place. The worst part is that it says “Stan” in huge letters on the sign.

MM: It was an honest mistake. Donut shops are such a thing in Ohio. That and cemeteries.

MO: Well, people die. And they like donuts.

MM: When in doubt, order a breakfast pizza.

MO: Never underestimate the power of dry shampoo.

AR: Get off campus every once in awhile.

MM: Go to the Oregon District and Yellow Springs.

MO: Get a campus job.

HW: Go to the Write Place.

MM: Don’t go to Skyline.

MO: It’s not actually chili. That should be their tagline.

AH: Hickory BBQ is a hidden gem.


FN: What’s your favorite spot at UD?

AH: The Ski Lodge. 40 Jasper.

MO: It’s all wood inside. So cozy. Probably eight different types of wood in that house. And another place is obviously Taco Bell.


FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

MM: Allie will be married with four sets of triplets.

AH: Yes, I would have a lot of multiples.

HW: Allie is going to take over the world and live somewhere really cool.

AH: And I will still have four states left to visit. I need to get to Washington, Oregon, Alaska and Hawaii eventually.

MO: Allie is clearly very interesting. She also has a twin.

HW: Yeah, you should just do the Porch Profile on her.

MO: Hallie will be in her own flat in Chicago, because she doesn’t want to get married. And she will be blogging about how getting married is stupid and binding yourself to one person is archaic.

MM: Oh, and she will have cured diabetes and epilepsy.

MO: Marissa. White picket fence. Three kids. With perfect meals and perfect portions. In the suburbs of Chicago. And she and her husband are both going to work at an ad agency and be like a dynamic duo.

HW: Meghan will have seven dogs.

MO: Definitely a dog lady … but hopefully be in love? Maybe? I’m going to live in the city too. Maybe move to the ‘burbs eventually.

HW: Don’t sell out. Be my roommate.

AH: Meghan, you’re not going to let us come over, because we’ll mess your entire house up.

MO: Amanda will have her own bakery on the side, because she’s an entrepreneur.

MM: And we will all be living in her basement.

AR:  Gotta have my taste testers!

HW: I will be taking loans out of her bank account.

MM: When you guys visit this is how it will be: Auntie Meg will bring the pups. Auntie Allie will bring the fish sticks. Auntie Amanda with the crafts. And Auntie Hal with all the goodies.

MO: Allie, you will have a wall of Biggie stuff.

MM: We will all get together to watch the Duggars.

MO: No, I hope one of them goes crazy.

HW: “Breaking Duggars.”

MM: Hallie and John David will end up together.

HW: I will corrupt him. We don’t do side hugs, John David.

AR: That’s right … straight to hand holding.

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