Porch Profile: The Men of 232 K Street

Porch Profile _MG_3586-2W

By: Katy Hoeper – Staff Writer

Flyer News: So how did all of you meet?

Matt Chkautovich: Aw, that’s a good question! I met Andrew freshman year, and he hated me.

Andrew Brackmann: Well, he wore tanks so…

Ryan Shirk: And Brack and I went to school together in Cincinnati.

Ben Vickers: We all met at Beach Day in Marycrest freshman year! And Matt and I are friends, mostly because I’ve been trying to be friends with frat stars my whole life.

 

FN: Frat star, huh?

MC: Yeah, well, one time I wore a vest out on a Saturday, and from then on I’ve been a frat star.

BV: Dude, last time I wore a vest, I was four.

 

FN: Do you have any house traditions?

BV: Every time we go out for the night, we play “Graduation” by Vitamin C.

MC: Basically so we’ll be numb to it by the end of the year.

BV: We also host the annual University of Dayton Fall Fest.

RS: Just for us four.

AB: Only roommates are allowed. Lots of cured meat.

BV: It’s great, we carve out a pumpkin for pumpkin cake, then pour drinks in there like a serving bowl.

 

FN: If you were visiting for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?

RS: Brackmann is going to be a correspondent on CNBC.

BV: Shirk would be the one in the trench coat on the bike path.

MC: I think Ben would be juggling a few kids around. He’s very fertile.

BV: Wow that’s … bizarre …

MC: I’m going to be cutting coupons.

AB: No way dude, you’re going to be going through your third midlife crisis by then, let’s be real.

 

FN: What would you say the theme song of 232 K Street is?

ALL: “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift, for sure.

 

FN: If you knew you could stay at a certain age forever, what would it be and why?

RS: I’m going to say nine, because I want to be a kid forever.

BV: Okay, Peter Pan…

AB: For me, probably 22, because T. Swift sings about it…

MC: I want to be 21, so I can be a degenerate forever.

AB: Or maybe 18, so I can buy some smokes.

BV: I want to be 100, so I can be on the Smucker’s jar every year.

 

FN: Give everyone in your house a superlative.

BV: Let’s start with Matt: “Most Likely to Skype His Family.” Matt Skypes his family multiple times a day. Morning, day, night, doesn’t matter.

RS: And he loves talking about it …

MC: Shirk is “Most Likely to Offend You!”

AB: No, Shirk is “Most Likely to be on the Bike Path.”

RS: Ben is “Most Likely to Live Life Aggressively.”

RS: And Andrew is “Most Likely to Wake You Up at 7 a.m.”

BV: On a weekend …

AB: Ben is “Most Likely to Burn Your Nostrils.”

 

FN: Most likely to what … ?

BV: OK, wait, let me explain. The chicken was really spicy, so the air was really pungent, OK?

 

FN: What’s your #1 house rule?

BV: Wait, we totally prepared for this one.

AB: Always wave!

RS: Ben gets two beer showers per semester. No exceptions.

BV: Now that you mention it, I haven’t cashed one in a while….

MC: Well I don’t follow the house rules, because I’m a rebel.

BV: No, it’s because he’s in a frat.

 

FN: Being seniors, what advice do you guys want to give the underclassmen?

AB: Meet Bob Dean. He’s like 82 and awesome.

MC: I don’t understand the question because there’s no way I’m a senior yet …

BV: Live life aggressively.

RS: Go to the Marycrest Beach Day and ignore that one dumb Tom Petty quote, because he never went to college!

AB: Oh! Go to China. Apparently, it’s the same cost as a semester here.

MC: Hang out with me…please?

All: Oh, and definitely go to Bourbon Street Grill.

 

FN: What is the perfect method for eating an Oreo?

RS: I had an Oreo in psychology class yesterday.

AB: Not the bike path, Shirk?

BV: Here’s the perfect method: I twist it in half, break the side without the filling in half, proceed to scrape the filling off, eat it and throw away the now fillingless side.

 

FN: Finally, what’s your favorite spot at UD?

MC: Andrew’s favorite spot is the Crying Circle. You know, the little half-circle area with stairs between KU and Miriam hall? You can only sit there if you’re sad.

BV: Yeah, he’s quite an emotional dude.

AB: Shirk’s is that little designated smoking area right outside the Rike Center.

BV: Oh man, Bdubs. I love me some Buffalo Wild Wings.

AB: He’s also all about Stu’s Landing.

RS: And Matt here loves historic campus.

 

FN: What’s historic campus?

ALL: Wouldn’t you like to know.