Porch Profile Family Weekend edition: The Kurtzes

Porch ProfW

By: ALISE JARMUSZ – Asst. News Editor

Meet the Kurtz family: Allison Kurtz (junior entrepreneurship major), Patrick Kurtz (younger brother), Terri Kurtz (mom, ’86 alumna), Chris Kurtz (dad, ’86 alumnus), John Kurtz (freshman at University of Cincinnati, was not able to come to family weekend). The family, from Louisville, Kentucky, took some time during Family Weekend to give FN a Porch Profile spanning generations at UD.

FN: If you had to pick a theme song for your family, what would it be?

Terri Kurtz: “Brown Eyed Kurtz.” Or “Family Tradition.”

Allison Kurtz: Hank Williams. We sing it at every family party. Or anything by Tom Petty

TK: That’s such a basic question but it’s hard!


FN: What’s the difference between UD now and when you went here (in ‘86)?

Chris Kurtz: It’s a lot nicer!

TK: The atmosphere is still the same, though. It hasn’t changed much, but in a good way.


FN: Give each other family superlatives.

AK: John is the tallest.

TK: Patrick is the smartest.

AK: Patrick would be most likely to say something inappropriate at the dinner table.

CK: I’m the dumbest.

AK: [Dad] is most likely to be inappropriate in general. John’s most likely to be everyone’s favorite.

TK: Allison is the most…

Patrick Kurtz: Stubborn.

TK: Allison is the boss of the family.

CK: Allison is the boss.

TK: Wait what about me?

CK: You’re the math geek.

AK: Mom’s most likely to not hear anything we said about her from the back seat of the car.


FN: What is the best Kurtz family tradition?

AK: The Easter bunny candle! Instead of a birthday candle, we have one broken candle with an Easter bunny on it that we use on everyone’s cake.

CK: We used it twice this week.

PK: Dad falling asleep.

AK: Yeah, Dad falls asleep at every family gathering.

CK: Family dinners are a good tradition.

TK: Yeah, and football games.


FN: If your family was a TV character, who would it be?

CK: Shrek.

AK: Dad, that’s a movie. Wait, why would we be Shrek?

CK: OK, Joey from “Friends.”

AK: Actually, that would be kind of accurate.

TK: What TV shows are we most like?

AK: “The Wild Thornberries.”

PK: “Family Guy.”

CK: No. Though I am like Peter a little bit.

AK: If our whole family was one person we would be Joey from “Friends.”


FN: If you had to give your family an adjective, what would it be?

AK: Inappropriate.

PK: Saucy.

TK: I would have to say laid back.


FN: What is your favorite UD Family Weekend activity?

AK: Sitting on our porch.

TK: Walking through the Ghetto.

CK: Yeah, the Ghetto.

TK: The best thing that has happened is that Allison got a house, and just being able to be a part of everything here.


FN: What is your family’s go-to meal?

TK: Burgers or filets on the grill.

AK: Yeah, filets. And cheesy potatoes, or chili in the winter.


FN: If your family’s kitchen table could talk, what would it say?

PK: Eat here more often.

CK: “You never sit here,” because we never really eat at the kitchen table.

TK: That sounds horrible.

CK: “Touch me.”

AK: I don’t think they can print that, Dad.

TK: We still have a lot of family meals, we just don’t sit at the kitchen table.

AK: That’s true.


FN: Chipotle or Qdoba?

AK: Qdoba.

TK: Qdoba.

CK: Qdoba. We don’t have a Chipotle [in Louisville] do we?

AK: Yeah, we just got one.

PK: Gotta have the queso.

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