By: Erin Ottesen – Porch Correspondent
Seniors Mary Kate Dorr, Grace Gorman, Molly Boyajian, Claire Hynes, Janine DiPronio
FN: How did you all meet?
Mary Kate Dorr and Janine DiPronio: 3 Adele!
MKD: Molly came into my room after a rain storm and talked to me for like an hour.
Grace Gorman: Molly’s mom dragged her into my room during move in and we like didn’t speak but our moms did.
Molly Boyajian: Claire and I were in the same honors orientation group on the first day and didn’t talk the entire time.
MD: Janine and I got lunch for like two months with the guys on the floor below us.
JD: We wrote half their papers for them. We bonded over Religion 103.
MD: We were bonded through Christ.
FN: If you could give everyone in your house a superlative, what would it be?
JD: We thought of these.
MB: Grace is most likely to go to Tim’s alone.
MKD: Janine is most likely to overpay the Tim’s DJ for a song.
Claire Hynes: But underpay the bartender.
MKD: Remember when you ordered a beer and just gave the bartender a dollar so I was like just put the rest on my card?
MKD: Molly is most likely to leave.
GG: To go to a third world country.
MB: Claire is most likely to pretend she doesn’t know us.
GG: I feel like Claire should be most likely to be the roommate no one knows about.
CH: Mary Kate is most likely to be found hugging her oversized stuffed dog on a weekend night.
MKD: On the kitchen floor.
FN: What is on your bucket list for this semester?
MKD: Grace and I are getting a gerbil.
JD: To get Jan from The Deli to like us.
GG: You almost have to be like, not nice for her to like you.
MKD: We’re too nice, that’s our problem.
MB: Go in every bar and restaurant in the Oregon District.
GG: Eat an entire large pizza for the second time.
MKD: Invite a Dominos pizza guy in.
JD: I need a Tim’s VIP card.
MKD: Host a successful Euchre tournament, we finally got Grace to play. Get a speaker.
GG: Watch every episode of Dateline that there is.
FN: What is your most embarrassing moment at UD?
JD: This one’s so hard.
MKD: When we were leaving the dark side on a Saturday we ran into our friend who had been studying for his MCATS, and we were not invited but we followed him home. His roommate, who we didn’t know, had food poisoning, and we kept yelling at them to come hang out with us. We apologized at Tim’s for like six months after that.
GG: Claire for, like, the longest time, we didn’t know she was in band. The entire freshman and sophomore year, Claire used to take this really big gym bag, and for the longest time we didn’t know where she would go, but then she would come back all dressed up. Later, we found out Claire was a first string clarinet player and she didn’t want any of us to know. So, now we call her Claire the clarinet player.
CH: No you don’t!
GG: But anyway, moral of the story, she used to put it all in a gym bag instead of having a case for her clarinet so we’d think she was going to the gym, and to this day we have never heard her play.
MB: We found a YouTube video once, but it was the whole orchestra so we couldn’t really hear her. One of us peed our pants walking up Stuart hill in grey leggings freshman year.
MKD: Grace and I almost got written up freshman year for singing “Popular” from “Wicked” too loud.
FN: If you were all back for your 10-year reunion, what would everyone be up to?
MKD: Janine would be the mother of six, wearing a tennis skirt, married to a lawyer or doctor. Emphasize the tennis skirt.
CH: And her kids will all be very well behaved.
MKD: Molly’s kids will be trying to corrupt them.
GG: Molly’s kids will be, like, climbing trees. Molly will be just getting back from her foreign experience, married to a foreigner.
MKD: None of us will have been invited to her foreign wedding.
MB: Claire will be the international sales rep for Ross Department Store in Ireland.
CH: Grace is gonna be recruiter for Gartner.
MKD: Living on the beach with no winter clothes. I picture you in a hammock closing deals on a cell phone.
MB: Mary Kate will be running a PR firm from home while raising a boy and a girl and a rambunctious pug.
MKD: Three pug accounts follow me on Instagram. We’ll all be hittin the dance floor at Timothy’s as 32-year-olds.
FN: What is your spirit animal and why?
MKD: Claire is a gazelle because she’s graceful.
MB: I’m a manatee because they just swim around in the ocean all day, they’re the cows of the sea, and they don’t eat other animals.
GG: I’m a sloth because I just go from my bed to the couch to the sale center.
JD: And back to her bed.
MKD: Janine is a prairie dog.
CH: Energy out the wazoo.
MKD: I’m a koala, I like to curl up random places and I like to eat.
FN: Do you have any house traditions?
MB:: We have a growth chart, we measure our close personal friends.
MKD: Granola points.
GG: We have a prediction jar.
MKD: We are highly invested in murder mysteries.
MB: Saturday morning pancake breakfast.
GG: Friday afternoon fun activities.
MKD: Burrito bowls on Tuesday’s, we eat dinner together every Sunday night, and we put in an absurd amount of work orders.
FN: Do you have any advice for underclassmen?
MKD: Be friends with people on your floor cause they’ll be your only friends.
JD: Enjoy your meal plan, get a monster cookie every week.
MKD: Work hard, play hard.
GG: Take advantage of meatball sub Tuesday.
CH: Rush PSE.
MKD: Go to Milano’s more than Tim’s when you are of age and order bbq chicken pizza from there as much as you can.
GG: DD’s is so underrated, never get the breakfast bowl at DD’s, always get the cheeseburger or breakfast sandwich.
CH: Study abroad.
FN: Anything else you would like to add?
MKD: Molly broke her tooth today.
MB: I did, I also have poison ivy, I’m having a rough week.
CH: Twitter is on the rise, making a comeback! Buy stock now while the prices are down.
If you are interested in being featured in Porch Profiles, please contact A&E Editor Cari Zahn at firstname.lastname@example.org with the names of your roommates, your address, and one reason why you should be featured.