The Valentine’s Day “Hype” From Someone Who Finally Has a Valentine
(Photo courtesy of Kerry Kadel)
Kerry Kadel | Editor-in-Chief
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that the media (films, TV shows, digital culture) has always promoted as “the one day where you don’t want to be alone,” which is an obvious ploy to highlight the insecurities of single individuals. For years, Valentine’s Day was all about spending time with your loved one, but in recent years, it seems that the pink-and-red heart-filled holiday is being celebrated by friendship, of those you love platonically–and I love this!
I think it’s hard for some individuals to look past this “strictly in-love” relationship needed for the holiday, due to the media and societal influences placed upon them.
Here’s what I’ve come to understand as someone who finally has a true valentine, after what feels like a 20-year dark night, indulging in the harmful thoughts and insecurities that society and media place on single individuals.
I might’ve tweaked my title to catch interest. I’ve had one other valentine before I met my boyfriend of six months, but that was when I was a starry-eyed freshman at UD who was ecstatic that, for the first time ever, I was going to have a valentine.
The media makes the day so much more romantic than it has to be.
And by this, I mean the purchase of flowers and chocolate, candy hearts, teddy bears, and draping rose petals down a corridor to a man on one knee.
Why are you so upset by this? You have a date for Valentine’s Day!
Yup. I’ll be at the Greene watching Captain America: Brave New World, starring Anthony Mackie and Harrison Ford. I’ll probably be eating dinner at 4:30 p.m. because all the other couples will be going out to eat at all the restaurants. Hopefully afterwards, I’ll go to my boyfriend’s place and hang out with his two cats. And that’s all I need.
I think that’s what changes when you grow up too, seeing that love doesn’t need to be put on display by buying a big bouquet of roses, or a heart-shaped box of chocolate. You can want this, and if that’s what you get on Valentine’s Day, then you’ve got a very loving partner!
As someone from Gen Z, I see feelings of inadequacy among my peers on social media, full of self-doubt and loathing, basing the want for a relationship on the idea that they need to have one. Because society has taught us that relationships make us happier, they change us–which is true–but I think that’s where movies and media come in, showing us unrealistic expectations of what love should be instead of what it really is. Lovers in movies do not have flaws like real people, they don’t talk or act like real people. They’ll stumble over their words, and the audience eats it up because they know that the love interest finds it cute. But sometimes that’s not the case in the real world.
I used to think that guys would find me fascinating because I write novels and poems–that is definitely something that would happen to the main protagonist in a YA romance. I think this is because anything can happen in fiction, because real people don’t work like that, and it was something that I had to break my “wants” away from.
I wanted to find someone that adored me for me, with my fixated interests and stupid humor–and I did. I think if you feel this way with your best friend, your platonic soulmate, I think that qualifies you to celebrate Valentine’s Day with them. Not everything has to lead to love, but it’s fun when it does, and I don’t think a lot of people realize how much love is shared between friends, and how strong that bond is in itself.
It’s also good to reflect on loving yourself this Valentine’s Day. I know self-care and self-love have become trendy topics on social media, making you believe you need skincare products, moisturizers, and gadgets to give you relaxation, but that’s not everyone’s speed. A pizza for yourself, a good TV show binge, and maybe inviting a friend or two to join is what I think is perfect for loving yourself this Valentine’s Day. Even going out to lunch or dinner with friends reminds you that there’s more to this one-day holiday than a need to seek out love when you’ve had it all along.