Editor offers 35 predictions for the new year

January 13, 2015 fn_admin

By: Mary Kate Dorr – Asst. A&E Editor

Editor’s Note: Although there are plenty of things to look forward to in 2015, the asst. A&E editor believes that some things will never change. Here are some of her predictions of what will likely remain the same in the new year.

Someone will be offended by a political decision or issue.
The same person will clog your Facebook newsfeed with overly-opinionated statuses regarding said issue, being sure to include unnecessary hashtags.
A Duggar will get married, give birth or enter a courtship, and a special about it will premiere on TLC.
Something dramatic will happen at an awards show.
You will spend entirely too much time in line at Chipotle.
A football team that is not the one you have been cheering for all season will win the Super Bowl.
A group of people will make a YouTube video dancing to an upbeat, popular song and it will go viral.
People will try to guess the royal baby’s birthday, time of birth, gender and name.
Girls everywhere will tweet about their obsession with the royal family #MrsPrinceHarry #LoveMe.
A forgotten star will try to make a comeback on a reality TV show.
People will try to come up with clever names as what to call Bill Clinton if Hillary announces her candidacy.
A distant relative will comment “What a great looking group!” on one of your friend’s Facebook photos.
Taylor Swift will continue not to date anyone to prove that she is not a serial dater and can write meaningful songs without romantic undertones like “Shake It Off.”
You will begin a Netflix series at the busiest point in the semester and prioritize it over any actual responsibilities.
Ellen DeGeneres will make someone who doesn’t deserve to be famous, famous.
People will post on social media how little it costs to fill up their gas tank.
You will have unpleasant conversation with someone you don’t like from high school.
A trend from the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s or ’90s will become wildly popular.
You will try to pull off this trend and fail miserably.
A Kardashian will be on the cover of several magazines/tabloids for no apparent reason.
People will continue to make puns with the word “bae” in it.
Apple will release a new device or update that everyone will pre-order or download then complain about insistently.
The final “Hunger Games” movie will be just as heartbreaking and disappointing as the book.
People who are not Irish will celebrate St. Patrick’s Day while telling everyone that they are not actually Irish.
Students will #tbt pictures of UD making it to the Elite Eight throughout all of March Madness.
Pitbull will release a new song that opens with “Mr. Worldwide.”
Another restaurant will display the calorie count under your favorite entree sending you spiraling into self-loathing.
You will start a diet or new work out plan that lasts as long as your next McDonald’s craving.
People will not talk about soccer at all because it’s not the World Cup, and everyone only pretended to be interested because we’re patriotic #USAUSAUSA.
A country song about trucks, beer and women will become annoyingly popular.
You will get an Instagram or Twitter request from someone in your family too old to have a social media account. (@Gammy_GG?)
Your friends and coworkers will quote the only Super Bowl commercial you liked until it is no longer funny (because it really wasn’t that great to begin with).
Someone will win “Survivor,” “American Idol” and “The Amazing Race” and continue to be irrelevant like all other winners since 2007.
Your parents will try to ground you while home before you remind them that you’re 20-something years old and, like, basically an adult.
Because you’re, like, basically an adult, you will make a promise to have a productive year, when really you’ll spend a majority of it watching Netflix or something.