While watching game two of the ALCS at Ohio State last week, I met a girl named Annie that asked me how her "boys" were doing. I assumed she meant the Tribe, and informed her of the tied score. She was very attractive, and her attire that evening kept my eyes more than occupied during the commercial breaks. During the seven run, 11th inning, Annie joined in on the screaming, cheering and high-fiving along with the rest of the crowd that night. But her next move was one that made my heart skip a beat...

Before any of us guys could throw in our smartass comments, she was the first of any person in the crowd to let out a big long boo when Joe Borowski jogged to the mound. She turned to me and asked if I thought seven runs was a big enough lead for Borowski not to blow it. I was ready to elope with her right there.

The place went nuts when the game was over as every fan in the room cheered and hugged each other. I tried to ask Annie to marry me, but she apparently never heard my proposal (or at least that's what I've been telling myself). After a hug, she left forever. Story of my life with women.

The next day it got me thinking though, was there such a thing as the perfect girl? Someone undoubtedly attractive, but also with a shared passion of sports? If so, this is what she'd be like...

First off, she'd be a Tribe fan-a girl wearing Yankees or Red Sox attire is as much of a turn on as the bearded lady at the circus. Chances are she'd love Grady Sizemore, but not just for his looks. She's understand the magic of a pitchers' duel, know exactly what it means when a ball hits the foul pole and the only questions she'd ever ask would be directed toward the umpires, most likely having something to do with balls and strikes. Hating Borowski would be a plus.

In the summer, we'd hit the links together. Her drive would never, ever go as far as mine, and more importantly she'd never, ever beat me-not because she wouldn't, but because she couldn't. She'd laugh at my ridiculous slice like all my buddies do, and drop her jaw when she witnesses one of my patented 30 foot long putts from beyond the fringe. She'd be competitive enough where her score would rarely reach triple digits, and she'd never play the red tees.

During football season, she'd join my friends and me on a Monday night, and none of the guys would ever complain about her. She'd cheer her favorite team hardcore, and hopefully would never make the same mistake as me and pick the Dolphins as that favorite team. She'd have a firm stance on all coaches' challenges during the game, even if it differed from mine. She'd understand football talk like a second language, and fully comprehend the clipping penalty.

Come March Madness season she'd never pick all No. 1 seeds to make the Final Four. She would never base her personal bracketology on mascots or fun cities she'd like to shop in. She'd appreciate upsets, but wouldn't brag when picking all those upsets. Perhaps most importantly, she'd hate Duke.

She'd be a hell of a poker player-able to beat any of the guys at the table she sits down with. We'd play pool as a team together at the bars and be able to beat anyone's ass that picked up a cue that night. She'd agree cheerleading is not a sport but would never get angry when I drop whatever I'm saying or doing when they show them on TV.

For dates, she'd pick sports bars over classy restaurants. She'd order pizza and hot wings instead of a side salad with light dressing. She'd legitimately offer to pay for dinner every now and then, although I'd never actually let her. The best gift she could give me would be tickets to a ballgame of any sport. Her favorite movies would be classics like "Dumb and Dumber" and "Top Gun," and she'd never ask me to watch "The Notebook" or any other Disney movie that isn't "Mighty Ducks" with her-ever.

She'd prefer wearing football jerseys over halter tops, tennis shoes over heels, and would never hesitate to throw a ball cap on if she didn't feel like doing her hair.

Through all of this, she'd still find a way to have a significant number of more girl friends than guy friends, because we all know the man law warning of a girl with all guy friends. Looks never hurt, sense of humor is a must, and she would absolutely have a thing for sportswriters.

That's my dream sports girl. Now accepting applications.