Fellow University of Dayton students, I beseech you to turn an eye to one of the university's most treasured guests. No, they're not speakers from far off lands. They're not beneficent human rights activists. Are they Nobel Peace Prize winners? Nope. Fellow Flyers, let's take a look at our campus bums.

Certainly you've seen them. And when you see them what are they normally doing? Picking through your trash and going through your recyclables. Normally you'd say, "Oh those bums, they're good for nothing!" But let's take a second to really look at them.

First, bums are very ecologically aware. They're constantly helping us Flyers clean up our campus, and making sure any aluminum we have gets recycled. I don't know any bum that has a higher heating bill than I do. I certainly don't see them driving around in fancy cars, rather they ride bicycles or push carts. That's a lot of oil they're saving. What are you doing to fight global warming? Not as much as our bums are, I assure you of that.

Economically, these bums know what they're doing. They fight inflation on a daily basis? How so? By having no money! It's an ingenious plan. They fight oil prices with a prolonged boycott of oil. They're fighting corruption and greed in Wall Street, the same corruption and greed that crashed our economy, by not participating in Wall Street. Furthermore we can all gain a lesson by these bums, they don't waste a thing. Heck, they don't even bother buying new clothes!

Finally, these bums are very Zen-like. They're not materialistic at all, they don't bother owning anything they can't carry with them. They're not possessed by money. They live day to day. They don't sit in class wondering when they can get drunk next. They're concerned with the planet and the well-being of future generations. They have wise-looking beards.

So fellow students, take a lesson from our Zen-like bums. Especially seniors before you head out into the world. Take a lesson from their benevolent actions in fighting foreign oil dependency, fighting economic greed and corruption, and their actions on recycling and keeping our planet clean.