Did you see any commercials while you were watching the World Series? Or any time in the past year sit through an entire commercial break? You probably saw one of those anti-tobacco/marijuana ads, didn't you? That's because they're on every commercial break. It's apparently the hottest commercial since ESPN's almost pornographic promotion of 'Season on the Brink,' starring Brian Dennehy.

You can be minding your own business, replaying in your head that sweet screeching car chase from a 'Chips' rerun you just saw, or admiring that flawless slow-mo 80's jump perfected by Ferris Bueller (the scene where he's running through backyards trying to beat his parents home), then, in an instant feel as guilty as if you just kicked a puppy purely because you smoked a cigarette and/or smoke pot.

I don't care that they have ads telling kids not to smoke pot, but striking nightmare-inducing fear into the innocent hearts of children is not the way to do it.

I have an idea. Instead of showing a car full of giggly teenagers with the munchies smoking pot in line at a drive through (common occurrence in broad daylight) run into a little girl on her bike, try taking the legalization of marijuana off the ballot in Nevada. Maybe they could even make it pass so the week after they can put a bubble over Vegas and not let anyone out. An even wiser anti-drug campaign could be to elect presidents without a known history of drug habits.

Marijuana ads could also try showing a more realistic situation where three teenage kids are deep in a wooded area, miles away from humanity at 1 a.m. smoking an overpriced joint. The paranoid kid hears a leaf fall and takes off in a dead sprint, eventually ending with him biting it in a rose bush after tripping over an imaginary log they swore was just there. Nothing kicks a kid's bad habit like showing them they might be ridiculed for being 'that guy.'

As a last resort, they could always fall back on the 'I learned it from watching you' ad. Maybe they could somehow incorporate Alf into the ad, to give it a fresh new look. They could have Willie, the dad, storm into Brian's room with a cigar box full of baggies and rubber bands. Brian can then tell Willie that he learned how to do drugs from watching Alf, who is in the corner of the room chasing Lucky the cat around with a bottle of aspirin in his hand.

Cigarette ads just need to stop. It's true, a whole lot of people die from smoking cigarettes each year, but a fair amount of people also die from bee stings each year (often referred to as an 'unlucky' way to go).

Somewhere along the way, people figured out that smoking cannot take the place of jogging a couple of miles. Nobody watching one of these commercials is in complete disarray over the fact that inhaling burning smoke, which makes them feel so good, might actually be bad for their health.

Because it's the cigarette companies who are in charge of paying for the ads, I think they have a very well thought out plan in effect. Their plan is to use reverse psychology and while giving the appearance to unsuspecting viewers that smoking is bad, they are actually annoying enough people to the point where they want to chain-smoke entire packs, one after another.

This all ends up as a pretty profitable $250 billion court sanction, which goes straight back into making more commercials. It is going to end up being Phillip Morris vs. Bill Gates in the race for complete world domination. I am sure they could turn it into one great reality show, too.

Whether or not these ads are on, I don't care if people choose to smoke cigarettes or decide marijuana is for them. If they want to do that, I could care less. Have fun.

However, I don't think we should have commercials relating a $20 purchase back to terrorism or the drive-by shooting of a young girl through some ridiculous inner network of supposedly related crime. I bet a lot of ill gangster stuff goes down after a Tom Petty concert.

Can there just be one night, where I can enjoy my TV dinner in harmony without feeling pitiful for something I do or even did years ago? That is, of course, unless Alf was on telling me not to do drugs. I would listen to him at least.