Flyer News: Have you guys been friends all five years?
Brent Songer: No.
David Cahill: Some of us have.
Chris Bates: Me, John and Dave have been friends.
John Haenszel: I’ve known Dave for five years.
Eric Linneman: We’ve all known each other. I wouldn’t say we were all friends.
DC: I’ve known John and Chris B. for all five years. I wouldn’t say we were friends until now.
CB: I’ve known Hedges forever.
Chris Hedges: I’ve known Bates since before college if you count the UD picnic. I used to beat up on him in high school basketball.
BS: Said the kid who refuses to step foot on a basketball court.
FN: How has being a fifth year been different from being a senior?
DC: You don’t have any friends.
CB: Not that much of a difference. I still go to Tim’s every night.
EL: Every time I go to Tim’s, people ask if I’m visiting. I’m like, “No, I still go here.”
JH: Hangovers are worse, we do a lot less and you spend a lot more time being horizontal in general.
CH: Day drinking becomes less and less appealing.
JH: Maybe let’s think of good things.
DC: Going out on Saturday nights is optional, sometimes.
BS: Ease level is higher.
CH: More free time.
DC: 435 Kiefaber prefers to “take it easy.”
FN: What is the best part about living on Kiefaber?
BS: Watching Bates parallel park.
EL: He still has to call me every time he needs to park.
DC: He couldn’t pass his driver’s test at 22.
CB: Great people watching.
SD: Close to The Rec so if we need money we can just go to the ATM there.
BS: Close to The Rec and The Empo.
FN: If you could change one thing about The Ghetto, what would it be?
CH: The amount of parking. There needs to be more spaces.
SD: Really, that’s the one thing?
BS: I would go with something more along the lines of drinking rules. We could have kegs or walk around with a beer.
DC: That’s a state law, but if we’re getting hypothetical here…
CH: I change mine to the keg rule.
FN: What artist provides the soundtrack to 435?
All: “2 Fast 2 Furious.”
CH: Yes, that movie’s soundtrack.
CB: Slash “Avicii.”
DC: Or summer hits of the 90’s Pandora.
EL: That’s always clutch.
BS: People here probably don’t even know what half of those songs are.
DC: We’re not that old, Brent.
FN: Do you guys have any house rules?
DC: Not particularly.
CB: Every time someone goes to Walmart they have to bring back a new condiment.
EL: That’s true.
JH: Call of Duty has to run 12 hours a day.
BS: When Bates’ door is closed on Sunday leave him alone.
FN: What does a typical Friday night look like at 435?
CH: Us gathered around the island in the kitchen passing around a bottle of vodka.
BS: We hang out with the same people.
SD: That sounds a lot sadder than it is. We do it for fun.
FN: What about Saturday
DC: College gameday.
BS: At least two to three people are asleep downstairs.
SD: We take everyone’s blankets and sheets off the beds, hang them on the windows to make it look like its nighttime and watch three movies.
CH: No one is allowed to go outside until 8 p.m.
BS: You are only allowed to get off the couch to get food or go to the bathroom.
EL: Or when Hedges makes popcorn.
CH: That’s an excused absence.
FN: If 435 was made into a movie, what actor would play each of you?
EL: Oh yes, Mark Wahlberg.
BS: Larry David.
CB: Joe Pesci.
SD: Who plays Kramer
JH: Hedges would be Screech. No — John Ralphio.
BS: Or the dude from Workaholics with long hair.
DC: My sister tells me I look like the guy from Superbad who is really awkward.
BS: Haenszel is Vinny Chase.
JH: Nick Offerman would play me.
CH: No, Haenszel would be Robert Redford.
SD: Who’s the best looking kid in Hollywood, Jon Hamm? That would be me.
DC: Sean Connery would be me.